My Banterful Life: Chapter I


As the title implies, there’s really no other word that aptly describes my life like Banter.

banterI mean, it’s only right.

So it’s been a while since I’ve been on here and I do apologize. I really have so many stories to tell y’all, but rather than just clump them all in one, I’ve decided to tell you about my whole summer in installments.

My Banterful Life: Summer Edition Chapter 1 (Homelessness)

So let’s backtrack a bit so we’re all on the same page as to where my banterful summer began. So in this post, I basically told y’all about my new job and how I had now moved to a new place yh (before I wrote an expository essay on Super Mario Brothers)? Well that new place I moved to was a dorm on campus. Although it was only temporary (for the duration of the job which was 2 months) it was pretty great tbh. Even the job as an orientation leader was pretty fun. But I didn’t really talk about that now did I? Oh well.

So over the summer I worked on campus as an orientation leader. I basically just organized and facilitated orientations for freshmen, transfers and their guests/parents.

I was pretty badass at the job if I do say so myself

feeling myself

Anyways, the banterful part of this summer didn’t begin with my badassery at my job. Nah, it was more of housing.
So in general, I really didn’t want to move so for like 3 weeks, I had loads of my stuff in my former apartment, while I slowly took my stuff into the dorms.

Well, as my luck would have it, my brother got a job in New York and moved out of the apartment, and my dad felt like it was pointlessly expensive to be paying for one apartment I wouldn’t be in while I had a free one on campus for two months, so that was the end of that lease.
However, I was quite confident that I was gonna find a place within 2 months of him moving out.
huehuehue

I didn’t.

For the next 2 months, I was there, scanning through Craiglist ads and making phone calls and running to open house sessions just to secure a house. Initially, I wasn’t really trying hard to find a place because I assumed everything was gonna be chill. And everything was…
Until my job ended and I still hadn’t found a place.

When this happened, I knew I had to enter super serious mode. I decided to limit my social media presence until I totally vanished for a while. I honestly think this was a good idea, especially with this new ridiculous trend on Nigerian Twitter called #iWasInMyHouseAndTrailerCameToJamMe where you’ll be busy tweeting, minding your own business, when all of a sudden, someone picks on a tweet of yours and says something totally unrelated (and usually rude) about your tweet to you and you’re just there being the butt of the joke. It’s usually funny when you’re not the one being laughed at. To prevent all that, I went on social media exile.

Anyways, since I couldn’t find a place, I had to pack a good amount of important clothes and stuff I might need to survive in a bag, while the not so important ones were kept in a storage facility until I could find a place to live (which I just acquired yesterday).

And to make things wayyyyyyy better, my job didn’t pay me until August because they were having issues with getting me in their system.
I basically worked 2 months free of charge.
While running from friend to friend to sleep in their place (for a specified amount of time so I didn’t overstay my welcome).
For 2 months.

Anyways, back to my pending homelessness.

So basically, from July 27th until yesterday August 24th, I’d been staying with different strategic friends. Emphasis on strategic because there were some friends I couldn’t stay with for long because I’m too broke and they’re broke with me.

I think the most stressful time out of all this was when all my funds were depleted and I had to go stay with a family friend who lived far from school.

Now, honestly, living with this family friend was great. Good housing, free food and people to play with.
Drawbacks? Dem plenty.

Staying with certain family friends means that you have to constantly be on your better than best behavior. Because one little mistake could result in parents stressing you out. Now, when you’re homeless and broke, I don’t think you’d like any more stress in your life. So that pressure to not fuck up constantly loomed over my head.
There I was, eating rice everyday.

That’s another thing.

Rice.

R

I

C

E

Rice

If I ever see this again, I’ll be sick to my stomach.

When an African man marries an Asian woman, the rice “jokes” aren’t jokes anymore.

I ate rice every day. Every single day after work, I would come back home, eat rice, drink loads of water, and go to bed by 9pm. Not because I was tired, but because everyone went to bed by 9pm, and I wasn’t gonna risk upsetting anyone by doing anything else but going to bed.
And this went on for a full week.

Most of the house renters were Chinese ladies. Many times, I’d charm their child (who’s usually fluent in English) but then, their parents wouldn’t take me. Initially, I wasn’t really bothered about it, and I didn’t think that it was the parents who didn’t want me. I thought of it more as, a better candidate got the house and I need to step up and be more approachable. And I wholly believed this, until the wife of my family friend (she’s Filipino) was like

“I hate to tell you this, but a traditional Chinese family will not let a black man live in their home.”
tea slapGuess I was quite naive in my initial thinking.

But even then, there were still fleeting moments where I’d get interviewed by guys who weren’t Chinese and they’d still reject me. I think the most painful moment was when I went to an open house and I was 100% sure I had impressed this dude. Like everything was too smooth as we talked for me not to be his roommate. So I confidently texted him asking about the housing situation
wp_ss_20150822_0001Confident me
smileOnly to receive this reply
wp_ss_20150822_0003This was me
heartbreakI damn near cried fam. I could’ve sworn that that was checkmate. I was no longer gonna be homeless anymore
43d04164312430b0752308b07fdeeecb

Man, when I finally acquired a place, I really can’t explain to y’all how I damn near cried. I’d been so fucking frustrated with this housing issue.

Anyways, follow @TheOiz and have a good day! Also, shout out to Panda Express for the words of inspiration during my hard life.
Inspiration
Pardon my shitty photo taking skills. My phone camera isn’t working.

Also, shout out to all the people who housed me during my time of homelessness. Nothing but love for y’all

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