Conspiracy Theories: Super Mario Bros.


Dear God. It’s been approximately one whole month since my last post. I can’t tell what’s worse. The fact that I still haven’t seized any bae yet, or the fact that I’ve moved out of my former apartment and tomorrow is the last day I’ll be seeing it again. So I’ll prolly look like this
Struggs (That was me in my secondary school, a day before grad, looking at my room in school one last time. You can see the pain in my eyes)
Or, maybe it’s just the fact that so much shit has been happening yet I’ve been too lazy communicating this with y’all. Either ways…
deal sha

So, based off of my last post, lemme bring y’all up to speed on what’s been happening in my life then get into today’s main post.

Like I said in the last post, I applied for two jobs. With one job application that I was certainly sure I nailed, I got this email
2015-06-12 20_38_22-Untitled1 - Windows Photo ViewerI remember seeing that email, going home and sleeping on the couch. Even after my brother stirred me up to have dinner and asked me how the interview was, I just remember showing him that email and falling asleep to his words of encouragement.
I was especially sad since my résumé looked something like this
Untitled2 Yet they called me up giving me a chance. And I nailed the first interview, but the second interview didn’t really end well and so that email at the end of the day was the nail in the coffin. I really couldn’t cry after reading the email pain

Away from depression, I did get the second job though.
yes So far, the job’s been amazing and my coworkers are fun as shit.

Anyways, now I’ve given you a rundown of what’s been going on in my life, let’s get straight into today’s post.
So, it’s been almost 2 years since I bettered someone’s childhood with my conspiracy theories. My powerpuff girls theory is apparently the most popular theory on Google now
2015-06-12 20_37_59-Untitled3 - Windows Photo Viewer So yay for that.
Today’s theory however, is one I thought of while I was reminiscing on childhood memories. I’ll just get straight to the punch of this whole blog post today.

 

SUPER MARIO HAS ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE

 

Give it time to sink in, and we’ll get to dissecting this issue bit by bit.
Now, as a disclaimer, this in no way intends to offend those with Alzheimer’s as it is a serious killer disease.

 

With that being said, let’s get into the simple nitty gritty details of why I pose this theory. Here’s a picture guide of what moderate Alzheimer’s is and why Super Mario has it.
2015-06-12 20_38_33-Untitled - Windows Photo Viewer
The article outlines 9 characteristics of what a person in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s might be going through. For concise reasons, I’ll explain with only 2, while giving you a theorem as to why the game is what it is.

Forgetfulness of Events/Personal History
The reason we have so many different Mario games, ranging from Mario Party, to Mario Kart, etc., is simply because Mario can’t remember anything. Since I might not phrase this explanation better, here’s some help2015-06-12 20_51_03-Your Brain Often Edits That Trip Down Memory Lane

The last sentence that says “They remember grown loved ones as children, dead relatives as living.” is what I want you to take away from that.
To trace the events that have happened in Mario’s life, we have to take it wayyyy back, to Mario Bros on NES.
mario THIS Mario.

What we do know is that Mario is a plumber, hence his outfit and plethora of pipes across different areas of the game.

What we don’t know is that his beloved, Peach, he fondly addressed with the preamble “Princess” (probably because he saw her as one) died in an accident. What most people don’t realize is that we’re playing through the faint memories of the accident Peach had.

We don’t know how the accident happened, but we can recollect Peach’s last words (more like question) as she lay bloody on the hospital bed

“Is that you?” She (probably said)

“Ey…It’s a me. Mario.” As he replied her.

We also do not fully remember the name of the doctors nor people that were there in the hospital while Mario waited for news about his Princess, but we do remember that toad looking doctor with the funny hat, coming out of ER to tell him that

“We’ve done all we could…she thanks you for saving her, but your Princess is no longer here… She’s in another castle.”

We still don’t remember all the emotions Mario was going through after hearing all this, but we do remember had to go different lengths and places, searching for money to pay her hospital bill…how he’d bang his head against the brick wall just trying to forget all that happened.

Now you might be asking why Mario sees Bowser in every world he goes into while trying to save Peach before Toad comes out and gives him the bad news.
elementary I’ll explain with the next important point about Mario.

Personality & Behavioral Changes
What does one do when they try hard to forget things (when banging your head against a wall fails)?
Substance abuse.

I’m pretty sure you can pinpoint some drugs Mario was on based off of what we’d see while playing the game.
flower This plant could be indicative of marijuana.
However, the main substance he’s on is mushrooms which explains why you see them a lot.

Mario abuses the substance we know as shrooms. His constant desire to stomp on them could be the game maker’s metaphor for highlighting his abuse of it. However, once he gets those shrooms, the feeling he gets from it is imminent. He feels high. On top of the world. Bigger than life.
mushrooms Also, notice how, once he ingests the shrooms, the environment changes into something happier? That’s the temporary effect of it.

As for Mario’s disdain for Bowser, I pose this theory to you that Mario has always had a fear of terrapins (be they just normal ones or Bowser) which is why he sees every single one of them as a threat and tries to kill them before they kill him. That fear of terrapins known as chelonaphobia btw.

Anyways, Mario’s fear, toppled with his Alzheimer’s and shrooms makes it quite easy for his memory to have been distorted so badly, that Mario (probably as a way of cognitive dissonance) pushed the blame of Peach’s death on what he fears most…turtles. Which is why you see him combating them at different levels, without wings, with wings, throwing axes, or at their most grandiose level…Bowser.

On the final level of substance abuse, it’s safe to say that with all these factors combined, Mario’s memory loss process has now begun. This is evident whenever you move a certain distance in the game and find out that you can’t go back to where you started. I see this as a consequence for him forcefully trying to forget the incidents that led to Peach’s death.
All in all, Super Mario Bros is basically a game about a guy suffering from Alzheimer’s, trying to save his dead wife.

 

And with that, we’re done with today’s post! Do follow @TheOiz & @AboutUseful and have a splendid day!

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