My Misadventures In Canada

Hey guys! How y’all doing? You good? Nice to know. Anyways, I’ve been feeling in the zone and shit (plus exams are coming soon so I won’t have time for y’all anymore) so I figured, why not just blog and gist y’all about my adventures in Canada the two times I went there.

Misbehaving In Canada

So, just like any other person on student visa, the time came for me to renew my student visa. It was decided that I’d be going to Canada to go renew the visa and everything there. So I could bore you with all the details about getting ready for the trip, and my preconceived notions about Canada and all that shit, but I know that
No one cares So we’re just gonna fast forward to me being a dumbass.

So pre-flight, I’d already announced on Twitter that I was Canada bound, hit up all my friends who I knew in Canada and made plans with them. Also made a budget of all the expenses I’d incur and sent it to my dad, so he’d already given me money for everything. It was arranged that I’d be staying in a hostel for a week. I’d leave for Canada on a Monday, arrive in the night, and go to my hostel in Toronto and rest. Use Tuesday to get a feel for the area and then by Wednesday, go to the embassy and sort out my visa shit. Then come back to San Francisco on Friday (which was the day of Halloween last year since my appointment was in October).

There was just one teensy weensy little problem about these plans (which I discovered just before I boarded my plane from SF to NY)

Soooo because I was kinda really excited about seeing friends I’d made online that were based in Canada, I somehow managed to convince myself that the Nigerian embassy was in Toronto instead of Ottawa.

I quickly informed my brother (who I know won’t judge me for being so dumb) and once I landed in NY, WhatsApp messages started flooding my phone. He was basically like

dafuq How the hell does one confuse Toronto and Ottawa? They don’t look the same, sound the same, there’s no embassy in Toronto…sooo, how sway?
Sha sha, him being the loving person he is, didn’t tell my dad and sent me some cash to use for Greyhound and move to Ottawa. I had to use my money to pay for a hostel sha, but it’s alright.

Anyways, fast forward to when I finally landed in Canada.

So I landed and the weather wasn’t too cold or whatever, but I had to go see my friend, since we’d agreed that I’d be staying with her. That’s the “hostel” I’d be in…if you catch my driftReadyNah, we cool. She had a man then (and still has one now)
Sha sha, dumb me thought that, because I could text Canada from USA, I thought for sure that once I land in Canada, T Mobile would be working without hassles. 

smart Imagine my surprise when I landed and my phone didn’t work. I was so stressed. Thankfully, Canada’s airport had Wi-Fi all over, so I buzzed my friend and told her about this new development, so I googled how long it’d take to get to her side and told her to come out of her building around the scheduled time. So we agreed and I started tryna figure out how to get to hers.
Went to the information desk and got advice on how to get to her side. Then I went to a Bureau de change, got some Canadian dollars and immediately felt rich as shit bruv. 10 US dollars for 11 Canadian dollars. I mean, c’mon man
Me vs You While I was there celebrating, I looked at my wristwatch and discovered that my bus I was supposed to catch was leaving in any second. So, to save you time, this happened
bus problems Anyways, got to that side, took a train and finally arrived at the station where we were supposed to meet. So I borrowed someone’s phone to call my friend and she told me to meet her at the exit. Stupid girl forgot to mention that there were four different exits in the station. So we walked around and around until finally, we saw each other.
It was cute. Finally seeing someone after years of talking online and stuff.
It was late anyways, so we got to her place and I was just sleepy. I’d be sharing her room with her since there wasn’t anywhere else to sleep.
So, some funny shit happened just as I was about to go to bed. So, my friend was in her bed, on her laptop, while I was (kinda undressing) and changing into nightwear. So before going to bed, I decided to brush my teeth. So I proceeded to open a new toothbrush from its packet. As I did that, my friend suddenly looked at me, all alarmed as shit, and suddenly moved to the corner of the bed before asking me what I was doing.
Now, I was confused as shit. Like, what happened?!
Then in a split second, I traced her eyes to see that they were looking at my hand, and I immediately understood what happened and started laughing out loud while babe was now covering her face in embarrassment.
Appaz she thought that this was what I was opening
Condom I made sure I slowly opened the rest of the toothbrush while giving her some good eye contact. Since she’s prolly gonna be reading this, I just want you to know
Body is ready My body is ready for you anytime boo.

Anyways, the next day, I just relaxed, got my shit ready for my trip to Ottawa and enjoyed her company. We went out in the night to go drop me off at the Greyhound. As we were going, we got into an elevator that had curtains and shit in it. I was scared as hell. The elevator looked under construction, yet this babe was telling me to get in.
WP_20141026_00_07_47_ProWP_20141026_00_07_55_Pro Anyways, we didn’t die. Got to Ottawa early in the morning. Hostel I enrolled in had my typa humor
Tinder-150424-133542 Did my interview, twas a blast. Got to meet another beautiful friend of mine I had only spoken to but never seen.WP_20141027_21_59_16_ProLook at that pretty thing. Shame she has a man. Moving on
Waited in Ottawa until I got my documents back, traveled back to Toronto, saw my friend one more day and returned to SF.

That was in October.

I got a 6 month visa to enter and exit Canada as many times as I could, and since my spring break was happening before my visa expired, so with enough begging and convincing from my mum, my dad agreed to finance my spring break plans to Canada (my brother also paid for it too, but that’s not why we’re here).
This time around, when I landed in Canada, there was no bus issue whatsoever. I’d become a boss in my own right. Any hurdle/obstacle anyone who’s not familiar with the area might’ve faced, I was like
nailed it Anyways, this trip to Canada was quite chill! I made new friends, saw new friends, stayed with new people, and I got to see the finer, more composed and less sexual version of myself.
WP_20150326_001 You could immediately tell she’s Yoruba by that hand positioning. She’s eaten enough pounded yam in her life time to the point where she involuntarily does her hand like she’s ready to eat another round ago.

We went to Denny’s where I was a nuisance with the camera. I mean, I had to. Especially since I was seeing my other half yunno.

WP_20150326_008 WP_20150326_19_32_50_ProIMG-20150326-WA0005Anyways, there a time when she had a golden moment with her face.
When you see the bill of the food y’all ordered
WP_20150326_003 Then realize you’re not the one paying for it
WP_20150326_002 I love you b! Don’t kill me afterwards pls. I take God beg you.
Anyways, Toronto was definitely a lotta fun this time around. Only thing kinda annoying was that while I was on University of Toronto campus, since they were still on strike, as early as 7 in the morning, there were protesters banging outside like
no sleep I wanted to complain, but I was like eh, I’ll only be here for a week.

And I was there for a week. And it was cool as shit! Anyways, follow @TheOiz & @AboutUseful and have a nice day.
If ya day still boring, enjoy a picture of me eating coconut chips.WP_20150327_001

One thought on “My Misadventures In Canada

  1. I LEGIT snorted from laughing so hard while reading this. Thank YOU for making my morning that much more enjoyable!

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