Since Everyone’s Eating Ass…

I might as well just share the story of my first time with the booty. Don’t judge me, y’all eat random stuff like frog legs, snakes, dogs, amala, and all of a sudden you can’t eat the booty?
Throwing Logic Out The WindowI think the problem most of y’all face is that you don’t realize that ass eating focuses more on giving rimjobs as opposed to actually eating poop. I imagine this is what goes through the mind of skeptics of ass eating

eating assAnd that’s not true.

For the most part, I’m going to skip through the minute details like how long it took me to get with this girl, all the failures and whatnot. Like I said, 2015 is a year devoid of negativity.

My First Time Tossing Salad

The funny thing is, this whole thing came into being as a result of me being with a group of friends and thankfully, the chick I had been scoping was also with me there. Before this time, this chick had been having her fun toying with me. The chase was fun, but it was getting pointless and I was getting quite desperate. I was getting ready to take a page from Quagmire’s book of tricks yunno.
desperate measuresThankfully, it never got that far. (I kid I kid. I don’t support drugs pls)

Anyways, we were all just chilling, talking about random stuff when things got a tad bit sexual and we started asking each other questions about what we’d all done. The whole conversation that was once dying sparked back to life and everyone was buzzing with questions. Sadly, because some of my friends knew I wrote fictional erotica and they’d read my work, most of the questions were targeted at me. I played it as cool, answering the questions as truthfully as possible. The girl I was interested in needed to know that I could get freaky too ^_<
As the questions flew in and out, her reactions didn’t really shake. Until the question finally came up.

“Do you eat ass?”

Now you need to know that right from time, I’d always known I was an ass over breasts man. Always. So when that question came in, I was about to talk in depth about my love for the booty, but I didn’t wanna sound too freaky. To make things even more difficult, when that question was asked, she was totally focused on me, waiting to hear my response.
So with all eyes on me, I chose to answer the question as safe as possible
classifiedObviously not satisfied with my answer, my friends pestered me and opinions (mostly negative) came about ass eating. While opinions were flying, I slyly egged everyone to share their opinions on ass eating. So they all shared their opinions, and once it came to her turn and she said she didn’t mind getting her ass ate, that she actually enjoys when that happens, best believe I was ready to start preaching about Bootyism.

“You like getting your ass eaten? Eww.”

Once a friend of mine said this to her, I quickly fired back at him

otterfuckerThen she (the babe) asked me if I ate ass since I was yet to share my opinion on it. Since she was the one asking, obviously I told her the truth


In actuality, I had never had any experience with anilingus. No asshole had ever graced my face.
But who am I to complain? It wasn’t too long after that incident that we started having sexual relations with each other.

After we had gotten familiar with each other sexually, she decided to take me up on my offer of eating her ass.
Actually, that’s not true. I lied. This is kinda how it went down.
As we were about to get down she said

PardonI’d never actually had anyone suggest we go for anal, but I knew deep down there was more to it. She was actually testing me to see if I actually meant all those words I said back then about being an expert at tossing salads. I’m smart. I know stuff. So when she brought up the suggestion, of course I was like

bring itI’m really not gonna go into details about how my first booty eating went like, but for the most part, I guess you could say it was successful.

In all honesty, after a bit of foreplay here and there, as she was in a doggy like position, I dove in recklessly and it ended up being something like this

booty eating first timeSince my tongue only graced her ass for a few seconds, babe turned around and looked at me to find out if all was well. I went back to the sexual parts I was more familiar with, got her to relax, then decided to go back to the booty again.
It’s not that her booty tasted funny. I mean,

assI dunno what else I was expecting.
Thankfully, my sexual imagination kicked in and so I went ahead, got my lubricant which subsequently has a cherry flavor to it, sprinkled it around and licked that. It actually tasted great. No jokes. I think the problem earlier was, my meal was prepared like a white person’s meal, without seasoning. Once my blackness kicked in and I sprinkled something on top, it actually felt good for me, and she was having fun since she kept moaning out loud.

All in all, it was a great first time for me. Sadly, she moved away after a while and I didn’t get to see her again. The saddest thing about it all was just..

asssAnyways, eating ass isn’t as bad as you might think. Just make sure your partner showers before time and have some flavored lubricant just in case.

And that’s it for today’s post! Follow @TheOiz and @AboutUseful and have an awesome day.

2 thoughts on “Since Everyone’s Eating Ass…

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