I Know You’re Tired of Hearing About Valentine’s Day But


The gif above probably represents how it feels to hear the word “Valentine”. To be very honest, I did my best to avoid this topic. I really did. But then the most random thing spurred me on to write about why I love the whole Valentines concept. I know it doesn’t really correlate, but then again, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
So lemme quickly break it down. Yesterday, a friend of mine and I were playing pool. As we were playing and she was about to take her shot, she couldn’t really reach, so she really had to bend to make the shot. Now she was wearing some really tight fit jeans so when she bent to take her shot, her ass was poking. Either ways, I was on the opposite side of her so I technically I had a better view of her taking a shot, than her ass so I didn’t bother. But while she was still in that position, some random guy was walking by, saw her ass and started taking a peek. I noticed him and followed his eyes and made sure he knew I was looking at him like
CockblockDude just dropped his eyes and walked away looking ashamed. Anyways, my friend never knew what happened. So when she got home, I started texting her about the ordeal. Long story short, this is how it ended
FriendzonedCri wt mi pls. I can’t do it alone.

thinkAnyhoo, as Valentine’s Day approaches, I’ve seen a lot of people trying to #SecureTheBae. And I have no problem with that. 2015 is #TheYearOfBae so believe in your slay. I know you’ll secure that bae one way or another. Either by posting as many thirst traps/Glo up pictures as possible

Crying FrogHandsome FrogOr getting on those dating apps like Tinder and doing your best to match with people.
tinderOn that note, some of you might be with someone and end the night on this note
booty securedOthers might want to be with someone but no one becomes available
leo cryingNevertheless, this post is just here to make you feel better about Valentine’s Day in general. Here are some reasons to love Valentine’s Day

(slightly) Cheaper Things Before/During/After That Day
I dunno if you’ve noticed, but a lot of things are usually almost always cheaper thanks to Valentine’s Day. I love going condom shopping around these days. 50% off for condoms?
condom salesThis is the sole reason I don’t complain about females not having self-control when they see particular sales. Chocolates tend to be much cheaper after Vals day. So keep that in mind.
In addition to all this greatness, PornHub HD will be free. Now I don’t really care if you’re going to take the holier than thou route, but this definitely gonna be me after Valentine’s weekend.
girlfriend's coming

It’s A Day of Love
No shit right? Yeah, but I think I need to reiterate on this note since a lot of people (especially the ones without bae) tend to forget that this is a day of love. Frankly, I don’t care what/who your definition of love is. Personally, I believe that no one can love you like you do and you are the only one deserving of yourself. So love yourself since no one can do it better.
flawlessBesides, if nobody shows you love on Valentine’s Day, remember, no one loves you the remaining 364 days either. So love yourself. Cus only you deserve you.

You Will Get Lucky (if you really want to)
Now for the most part, a lot of you are quite (un)happy about Valentine’s Day because there’s a possibility you might (not) get lucky. I’m here to tell you that it’s all about determination. If you really want to have sex, irrespective of the presence or absence of bae, you will have sex. If bae doesn’t give up the box, create your own box. Yeah, I said it, create your own box.
diy fleshlightIt’s all about determination. Don’t let anyone berate your hustle. If you want the real thing, just persistently chase after the girl you want. Remember, a wise fast food company once said,

Thirst has no CurfewAnd that’s it for today’s post! Remember to have a safe (and hopefully sanitary) Valentine’s Day. Also, I’m writing a new post every Saturday for this whole month of February on my fictional erotica blog called #TheBeautifulOnesMustDie. I implore you to check it out. Follow @TheOiz (& @AboutUseful for blog updates) and have a nice day.
Nigerians! Don’t forget to vote as well. Even if you feel like it won’t count, still vote pls.

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