I’m sure that once a lot of you who have Nigerian parents saw the title of this post, you began to remember the times when your parents totally missed the point. And I feel you.
Normally I’d shrug it off, but today, the way my father missed road, it brought back many memories of how Nigerian parents seem to have specialized in the power of non-correlation. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone connect two of the most unrelated events like Nigerian parents do.
So this morning, as we were going down for morning prayer, my father commented on the fact that I used to wake up and sweep the house, now I’ve stopped doing so. My head was aching me and I hadn’t been feeling the greatest recently, but I kept quiet.
Before I delve further into the story, I’ll just enlighten those of you who don’t know. Now, if you do something bad in a Nigerian home pre morning prayer, one way or the other, you will be sneak (or sometimes outright) dissed by your parents at some point during prayer.
Undefeated gods of sneak dissing
Anyways, fast forward to the closing moments of morning prayer and he brought out a sheet of paper that had RCCG’s prayer points for the year 2015. One of the prayer points said we should read Titus 2:12. The scripture says
“Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world.”
Then my dad goes on to say this. And I’m quoting him verbatim.
“Now I want you all to pray concerning living righteously. Some of you are not living righteously. As I told Oise this morning, he used to wake up and sweep, now he doesn’t do so anymore.”
At this point I was like,
“It’s how you lay your bed, you’ll lie on top it. If you don’t work hard and do what you’re supposed to do on time, you’ll miss your way in life.”
This was me
Then he rounded it up by saying
“So try to live your life righteously. Let us pray.”
I was seriously looking at him like
And that fueled the memory of another time when I was outside sweeping the floor and I was doing it a bit too slow. My mum now came outside and started complaining that I was wasting time sweeping outside, and my slow sweeping was probably a good representation of how slow and sluggish I was in school, which was why my grades were not so good.
I could probably go in detail mentioning other stories I’ve heard about Nigerian parents and their strong spirit of non-correlation, but I’ll just stop here today. If you have any memory of your folks telling you two things that don’t make any sense, please let me know.
On a closing note, Nigerian blog awards have started voting and other things sha sha. I know I wasn’t really shit last year, so I don’t really mind, but if you do feel like nominating me anyways, just go here and nominate Useful Information About Nothing for Best Humor & Personal blog, and The Adventures of Him and Her for best book blog by following this link. Like I said, I probably don’t deserve it.
Anyways, follow @TheOiz and have an awesome day. On a side note, I thank God for Jay Z for making table water available for me while I was stuck in Lagos traffic today