I know this is quite lazy of me, but I just remembered that I promised a friend that I’d show her my favorite essay in college. So here it is! Enjoy guys 🙂
Btw, I still really fucking hate these tiny sized ugly shits wordpress calls fonts. It really pisses me off typing and reading shit with such shit fonts. Shit.
Everyone Should Not Overlook The Importance of Diarrhea
Before you squeeze your face in disgust, understand that I am not a fan of toilet humor, nor do I wish diarrhea on my friends nor enemies. If someone was to mention his/her diarrhea experience to me, I’m sure I’d cringe for the most part of the narration. So why then, would I suggest you try to get a feel of diarrhea?
As a college student who recently moved out of my parent’s house, majority of my pocket money is spent on food. Not being the greatest cook, I either have to settle for my mediocre meals, or eat out, and depending on the amount of money, I can either settle for cheap but unhealthy food which is never hard to find, or expensive (from a broke college student’s perspective) but healthy food which isn’t always the easiest thing to spot. I usually settle for cheap food. In addition to not being a great cook, I am not an adventurous person with regards to food. I tend to avoid unfamiliar food as I’ve had many bad experiences with new food: puked when trying seafood for the first time, had bad gas for a week after trying mutton for the first time, diarrhea from taking chocolate milkshake from Carl’s Jr. (I usually have McDonalds’ milkshakes) etc. However, even with my touchy stomach, I still try to digress with food (though seldom) and I’ve learned lots of life lessons from suffering the consequences of my bad food choices.
My bad food choices have been the sole cause of most, if not all the times I’ve had diarrhea. During those times when the diarrhea occurred and it went away, I understood that diarrhea can actually be a good thing. Thinking that any good can come from having diarrhea may look as useless as the letters after the initial letter in the word “queue”. The letters after the letter “Q” are super important and have a function even if they’re overlooked. The same way we overlook the positives that can be taken from having diarrhea. However, once one stops looking at only the negatives of having diarrhea, you would be able to notice that a diarrhea experience can do as much good, as it would do harm to you.
It wouldn’t be hard to find college students who are currently in school because their parents made them go to college. For others, it’ll be for the purpose of securing a well-paying job which requires a degree that can only be earned in school. While for a few people, it’ll be solely for furthering their current knowledge. Irrespective of what your reason for being in school is, once you’re in school, the main goal is to succeed and come out with good grades. However, there will be times when one loses focus of the main goal simply because the individual has gotten distracted, confused, or downright tired of school work. This is a dangerous phase, as it can lead to a serious drop in one’s grades which deters the person from achieving their main goal. To prevent my grades from dropping, I usually give myself pep talks, reschedule my weekly routines so I can have more breaks thereby feeling refreshed and ready to work after, and watching motivational speeches. Eric Thomas once said in a motivational speech, “When you want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe then you will be successful.” That was one of the most powerful quotes I ever heard, and it usually got my mind back on the right track. Using the same quote over and over again got boring and stopped having its motivational power after a while. However, after having diarrhea, I revamped my initial inspirational quote into “When you want to succeed as bad as you need to use the toilet when diarrhea hits, THEN you will be successful.” From my first diarrhea experience (which was when I was 11, and then once every other year) up until current day (I’m 19 now), nothing has been more motivational in my life than the revamped quote. It may seem funny at first glance, but if you’ve ever had a first-hand experience with diarrhea, hearing that quote will definitely remind you of bad times and once your reminiscent moment is connected with one’s current goal of being successful, your mind will come back to focus.
Whether you’re the social butterfly, or an introvert, it’s quite hard if not impossible to go through a school system, elementary/middle/high school or even college, without having at least one friend. Elbert Hubbard once explained who a friend is when she said “a friend is one who knows you and loves you all the same.” The types of friend one is likely to have is very broad and differs with each individual. However, one thing which remains constant with people and their friend(s) is that they like to hang out, albeit location and scenarios might differ. Sometimes, hanging out with your friend(s) can be fun. However, there will be times when you wouldn’t want to hangout. When these times arise, it can be quite upsetting to your friend(s). Declining to hang out with an excuse like “I’m busy tonight” or “I’m sorry, I just can’t” rarely goes without its consequences. People might argue that good friends are more understanding, and will not get upset if you decline their invitation. Such a statement is only tells the partial truth, because a good friend will overlook you declining his/her invitation to hangout, but once it becomes frequent, more likely than not, your friend will stop asking you to hangout. Sometimes, they may coerce you to join them through peer pressure, other times they may get annoyed with the frequency with which you decline hanging out, and reduce the number of times they invite you to hang out with them. To avoid being peer pressured into hanging out, while also not upsetting your friends, diarrhea can be quite helpful. Unless your friend is really inconsiderate, the minute you say “I’m sorry, I can’t come…I have diarrhea”, he/she will tender an apology to you and wish you the best, giving you ample time to do whatever it is you planned to do, while not annoying them by refusing to hang out. In addition to that, because diarrhea can be spontaneous, the excuse can be reusable for a good number of times.
One’s appearance is very important, which is why lots of people go at great lengths to enhance their appearance. Sadly, society seems to promulgate skinniness as being the most acceptable body shape, and for that reason, many people try all they can to be skinny, going on diets, working out, etc. Some go as far as becoming anorexic/bulimic, just to lose some pounds, and look their best because society at large has propagated a certain body shape. For the people who are going through this struggle, and have gotten tired of calculating calories every time a meal is to be consumed, forcing themselves not to eat at certain times, diarrhea is quite helpful again. Even though it’s a downside of experiencing it, diarrhea results in weight loss. Having diarrhea is good and bad. It’s bad because it’ll leave one dehydrated, but because it’s bad, it’s also good, as it makes you drink more water often which is good for the human body. So like it or not, diarrhea may be one of the best things that’s ever happened to your physique, which in turn could spike up your attractiveness rating, according to modern day society.
Farting is a natural phenomenon which happens to every human being. Sometimes, farts happen at the worst places and at the worst times, where they must not be released into the atmosphere. More often than not, one succumbs to the urge and ends up fouling the air. Some people look down on their succumbing to this urge, while others may laugh at it or be totally indifferent towards it, since it is a natural phenomenon anyways. However, diarrhea is quite helpful in preventing farts at awkward places. If you’ve ever had diarrhea before, you know that unless you seek to defecate in your current outfit, it’s quite impossible to fart. Diarrhea instills one with the fear of the inevitable consequence if one were to expel such a fart. A consequence so great, it overwhelms the urge to succumb to farting.
Above all, a single diarrhea experience can leave you in a thankful and appreciative mode once you recover from it. There’s a famous saying that goes, “Experience is the best teacher” and I totally believe it to be true. The minute you experience and recover from diarrhea, you fully appreciate what it’s like to NOT have diarrhea, and you finally can comprehend why I wouldn’t wish this on my friends or enemies.
As I said earlier on, toilet humor has never been in my good books, and I have strong doubts it ever will, but thanks to an experience which I implore everyone to deliberately have at least once, I’ve picked up valuable life skills which has helped me figure out a new way to motivate myself, keep my friends, it’s also taught me to never judge a person/thing, without putting myself in the shoes of the person experiencing it and this is why I believe everyone should not overlook the importance of diarrhea.
Thomas, Eric. “Secrets to Success.” Michigan State University. Dec 11 2008. Keynote Address.
Gist between my professor and I.
Well that’s pretty much it. I should have lots of stuff ready by next weekend. Just too many things to read and write about this week. So don’t expect blog activity. So yeah, follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!