We’re back to this reoccurring theme of me ignoring you guys for a long period of time, apologizing, then moving on to today’s post as usual right? Even though I see no reason why I’m apologizing (I mean, it’s not like you guys ever read whatever I post before the main post) but I’ll only do so because I had many times when I could have blogged, but I didn’t. Laziness levels were over 9000! But on the plus side, there have been so many tales to tell regarding this semester! Whether it was Valentine’s Day, or my first one night stand, the greatest cheating experience ever, first time at a bar, first frat party, soccer season, etc. It was a really great semester. I’ll just give you an overview of my semester today, then subsequent posts will tell you a lot about the stories I have in store for y’all!
Before we head into today’s post, I’ll like to remind you that you are on Useful Information About Nothing, so half the information I give out on here isn’t worthwhile. Don’t take it up the butt like this person did with my powerpuff girls conspiracy theory.
Spring 2014 Year Review: Oiz Style
So I finally finished with school in Los Angeles and it was time to move to San Francisco, a much cooler and gayer environment than LA would ever be. It took me a while to get used to the weather, cus switching from 90 degree weather, to 50-60 degree weather all in a matter of weeks isn’t exactly the easiest thing ever. But I adjusted to the area, got used to the bus system and people after about a week, and then school resumed and damn…It took me a while (and I’m still trying) to get used to the amount of beautiful ladies on the campus. And with beautiful females, there’s always…
You guessed it. BOOOTAYY! BIG BOOTY!
February was that month. As usual, I had no one to spend my February with, so I spent some alone time, understanding my body. The chemistry of it all. Magical really.
If only Pornhub had their Arbor Day Special in this month, I’d have planted enough trees to make global warming a thing of the past.
I was too late for tryouts to make the school soccer team, so I registered for coed intramural soccer for indoor and outdoor. Indoor games went smoothly and didn’t make me hate Mondays as much, however, outdoor was a different thing entirely. So, lemme quickly break this down.
For you to get on a team, you have to log on to a website, search for any team that’s lacking players, and ask to join the team, almost like a Facebook friend request kinda thing. So I looked for a team, saw SF United and tried joining them and they added me. Yay.
After playing a good game of indoor soccer the previous day, I was ready to go and play outdoor soccer on Tuesday. My class finished, I waited for like three hours, and once it was time to start playing I went to the field to start looking for SF United and had to ask the timekeeper (who had the whole team roster) whether he knew where my team was. He asked for my team’s name, I told him SF United. He asked for my name, told him my name and then he went on to tell me, in Maury fashion, that I was NOT on the soccer team. I wanted to cry. I argued with this dude that I knew when I was added on the team and could even show him the email that said that I’d been added on the team. He then went on to tell me that even if I was added to the team, it’s possible that the captain of the team dropped me from the team. And just like that, my heart broke.
I swore revenge on that team, and thankfully, the timekeeper showed me other teams lacking players and I finally managed to get on another team, IEEC.
In usual April fashion, it was time to play a prank on my parents, but this year, I couldn’t. Asides them having their guards up after my prank last year, I just wasn’t ready for another overreaction. African parents may be the greatest kinds of parents to have, but they tend to take shit too far, especially with jokes and stuff. One minute, you’re busy playing your April fool prank, they get upset, you tell them it’s a joke, they still get upset and end up insulting you for even attempting such. Smh.
Anyways, something crazy did happen in April, asides my great week of soccer.
For those of you who don’t know, San Francisco is a very drug friendly place. I’ve randomly been offered molly at the park, I saw a shit ton of people smoking on the freeway during 4/20, and no cops complained. But that’s not what happened.
So on this random day, I was going out with my housemates (who are all white) to a bar. Yes, I’m too young to go to a bar, but, according to roomies, security was very lax here, so I could get in. Anyways, we were walking to the bar, and as we were walking, I spotted a black hobo walking towards our direction. I don’t mean this in a spiteful way, but I really detest hobos, especially the black ones. (I’ve had bad experiences. I’ll share the tales sometime later)
Anyways, on spotting this guy, I tried to avoid making eye contact with him, but failed and so I tried to bridge the distance between my housemates (who were walking ahead of me) and I so he couldn’t approach me simply because I was alone. Before I could cover the gap, my housemates walked past him, leaving me to walk past him. However, as I was walking, he started coming closer to me. I was already panicky (cus the area was quite shady) but I kept my composure. Nonetheless, as I was walking away, he leans in my ear and whispers “Marijuana” then walks away.
I was like
Then I called my housemates, and when they turned back I questioned them on if anyone of them had just heard what I had heard to which they all denied and even asked me “What black guy?” I turned around and saw no one nearby. I’m pretty sure it happened and I didn’t make this up, but the way he disappeared still has me worried.
Anyways, we got to the bar, housemates ordered drinks (for me) and we all had a good time. A gay guy hit on me and let’s just say it was…different. Before you start going…
…hear me out.
Black guy (I really don’t know why black guys have it in for me) looks at my housemates (who are all female. My roommate is a guy, the rest of my housemates aren’t) and points in their direction, with me in their middle. My roommates were confused with who he was pointing to. They were like
He then comes up to us and singles me out. I was weirded out at first, especially since he started with complementing my outfit and stuff. I slowly relaxed when he said I reminded him of his brother with my dress and demeanor, then he left. I thought that was the last I’d seen of him, and I followed my housemates as they stepped outside to smoke later, and lo and behold, I met the black guy again with a bunch of random people. He invited me to sit with them to which I did.
We all started talking on the table, and I had to lie about my age, job, etc. so I would have blown my cover in the bar. Next thing I know, topic switches to “What’s your favorite TV show?” and I’m like “Game of Thrones” to which the black guy also replies and says it’s his favorite show as well. Others on the table just nodded. Then the topic of incest and homosexuality came up and the black guy spoke in favor of them while locking eyes with me. Didn’t take me too long to put two and two together before I was like
Left that place immediately.
Finals, parties, and end of soccer season. Oh, and lest I forget, IEEC won the outdoor soccer championship!
Look at me there. The only speck of oil in a bunch of snow!
Nonetheless it was a great semester. Obviously this isn’t ALL that happened in the semester. It’s just a quick recap of major events I can remember while typing atm. Subsequent posts will tell you what else has been happening! Sha sha, follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!