#TheCurveChronicles – You’re Too Young Sis


Hey Guys! How y’all doing today? Hope you’re doing great. Cus I’m…I’m confused at the moment. I’ll try to explain everything in small detail before I get into today’s post.

So, just a few hours ago, I was having my Psychology class. It was a nice, cheerful class, messing with our minds while being stereotypical. My kinda class yunno. Anyways, the professor leaves us to talk to our group members and then I walk up to him to ask some questions. After asking my questions, I started walking to my seat, which is all the way at the back of the classroom, when all of a sudden, I see this guy making eye contact with me. Now I’m not one to back down in any contest, so immediately he initiated eye contact, I was all

challenge acceptedSo we stared each other down, and then this dude kinda used his eyes to tell me to come sit beside him. Initially, I thought he was just trying to look away and then trying to come back into the staring competition like it was nothing. Obviously that’s cheating, and so I decided to put an end to the competition

smackdownYup. That’s right. I looked away to signify it was over. That was only after he motioned me to come sit with him with his eyes though.

Anyways, I was there minding my own business, waiting for the class to end, when all of a sudden, a female passed me a small sheet of paper. At this time, the class was now officially over. Curiously, I opened the sheet of paper to see a phone number. I was smiling until I saw the name “Kevin” boldly printed atop the number. Now I might be an ingenious retard, but I’m pretty sure Kevin is a dude’s name. To make matter’s worse, when I asked the female who gave her the paper, she pointed to the chair behind me. The same chair was where the guy I stared at was sitting on. It was then, I understood what the staring “contest” was for and immediately I was like

noThis is like the third time in my 2 years here that a gay guy is hitting on me, which is really confusing. I don’t know what makes people think I’m gay and it’s really disturbing. For fucks sakes, yesternight, I was dressed in corporate, playing Eminem’s “Rap God” quite loud in class every now and then, and I was constantly engaging the female beside me in conversation. Almost flirty conversation. How someone deduced that this is what I like is beyond me

badmintonI mean, I know I have a reputation for being extra nice and flirty. Especially with the ladies. Famous for the friendliness, the flirting, the sexual jokes, stamina, etc. If you don’t get the stamina part, I’ll explain it with the last convo I had with my doctor.

hey docAnyways, let’s just leave this for another day and get on with today’s post.

 

If Your Age Is On The Clock, You’re Too Young Sis

Who I am is of no concern to you. However, I am a female and I got curved. I’m not ugly. At least, my mummy tells me so, so it still kinda baffles me how and WHY I was curved so badly. Before I go on, I’m still kinda upset with Oise for insulting all his readers (including me) in this post. Especially the gif

fuck you very very muchOkay, I was in elementary school also and at the time, I used to be this silly bitch who spoke to no one aside those who, according to me at the time, were deemed worthy of my audience. The rest of the people got this treatment from me

peasantAnyways, there was this big dance coming up in school, and everyone had to play a part in it. And with me being the boss ass bitch I was back in elementary school, I was playing the lead role. However, there was just one problem. My partner was (I dunno if he still is) very facially handicapped. On the other hand, there was this lovely chunk of man candy who was two grades above me. I can’t begin to describe how I felt down there back then, because I hadn’t experience puberty yet. Nonetheless, I did want him to be in the supporting role because the supporting character got to kiss me. Now I told my friends about the crush I had on this guy and even though many of them discouraged me from doing so, one of my friends, hit me with that, “You’ll never know unless you try. So don’t live a life of “What ifs?” Live a life of “Oh well!” Other people who tried to dispute were like

almostCus she had a point.

So I summoned up the courage to talk to him and two days to the big dance, my opportunity finally came. My dad was supposed to come and pick me up from school, and he was running a bit late, and thanks to some stalking and good positioning, I was left with him. Anyways, I psyched myself up and had what was to be the briefest, and most memorable conversation of my life.

“Hey! I’m Ugo!” I happily chirped.

“Oh, hi! I’m Dickson.” He casually replied.

Being young and adventurous, I immediately jumped to the point and blurted out the words,

“Do you think I could be your partner?”

And then he looked at me from head to toe. After what seemed like forever, he replied me, saying,

“You’re a 4th grader right? I’m sure you are! Buzz off dearie…you don’t stand a chance…”

devastationAnd just like that, my heart shattered into pieces. But I guess you could say, I was put in my place for all the times I looked down on other people. It was still quite sad as I completed the play, kissing the facially handicapped guy while I watched my heartbreaker smiling.

devastatedAnd with that, we’ve come to the end of today’s post! I hope y’all enjoyed it! Don’t forget to email me if you have a story to share! Follow @TheOiz and have a wonderful day!

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