Cockblocking At Its Best


So hey guys! How ya dewwwing? It’s been a while hasn’t it? I know. I’ve been a tad lazy and all, but at the same time, I’ve really just been enjoying life. Before I move on with today’s post, let’s talk about Life for a minute. Time’s are getting harder and harder by the day. Everyone’s too busy trying to do one thing or another. It’s like no one has time to just chill and relax. It just reminds me of the famous poem by William Henry Davis

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare?

 

No time to stand beneath the boughs,

And stare as long as sheep and cows.

 

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

 

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

 

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

 

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began?

 

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

 

It’s a poor life if we have no time to chill and enjoy the pleasures of life. I mean, I know we all wanna make it and all, but sometimes, you really should just sit back, relax, and let life entertain you. Or bring the entertainment by yourself. I mean, that’s what I do. That’s why I’m always so happy! Every once in a while, just sit back, relax, and do something unorthodox. Like randomly texting a female friend of yours who likes you, teasing her and then

good times good times1 good times2 good times 3

It’s still kinda sad how she hasn’t replied me till date. Oh well. Let’s just get on with today’s post!

 

CockBlocking At Its Best

So hi guys! Welcome back to Useful Information About Nothing. Where nothing is learned and nothing is earned. Since I haven’t blogged in a while, I’ll give you two posts in one! Yay me! It also means that today’s post is gonna be pretty long, so you might just wanna get something to snack on while you read.

Today’s post is gonna be about the time my best friend (in elementary/primary school) cockblocked me and how I also sorta cockblocked myself. For those of you who don’t know what Cockblocking means, I’ll give you both the dictionary definition, and my simplified definition of it.

To Cock block, according to the most liked definition on Urban Dictionary, means “One who prevents another from scoring sexually.” In simpler terms, you (the cockblocker) “Block” any attempts of a dude’s “Cock” from going into the vagina (or anus). It’s usually men who get cock blocked, but some females do it too. However, cock blocking doesn’t always mean you’re always preventing sexual acts from happening. Cock blocking is also when you prevent people from hooking up. So for a universal definition, you can define cock blocking with the words, “Preventor of Hook Ups”.

Now cock blocking might come in different forms and it could happen for a variety of reasons. You could be a cock block when you know your friend (either the male/female) is about to hook up with a player and you really just wanna be a good friend, so you pull her away/interrupt their conversation. That is an Acceptable Cockblock.

Some people cock block just because they want to ruin another person’s chances of hooking up with a guy/girl. The reason they usually do this is just because they feel like, or simply because they like the person you’re trying to get at, so they stop you for selfish reasons. This is an Unacceptable Cockblock. Sometimes, Karma gets people like these and stuff like this happens

cock blockSometimes, some people just cock block mistakenly. I’ll call it a mistake because I feel as though they didn’t purposefully cock block, the environment at that moment just made them do what they did. This cockblock isn’t acceptable, but since it’s not on purpose, we can call it a Pardonable Cockblock.

mistakeAnd then there’s the last set of cockblockers. These ones are usually family members or close friends who cock block their friends from getting at their sister/brothers because they’re simply too overprotective and don’t feel like their sister/brother is smart enough to make decisions on his/her own. They’re usually the people who do this when their friends try to holla at a sister

CockblockIf you do this kinda cockblock, I really dunno what to say to you. Even though it’s breaking one of the rules of the Bro Code by trying to get with your close friend’s sister, c’mon! He’s your friend who you know too well. Unless your friend who you’re cockblocking is a player, I see no reason why you shouldn’t let him get at your sis. Cus unlike a guy your sister would come and tell you she likes yet you know nothing about and cannot vouch for, you know your friend and can put him in place at any time. If you still know your friend is a good guy, your sis likes him and he likes her, YET you cockblock..

wellIn my case, the last format of cockblocking is what happened to me. It actually happened a few years after I had left elementary school and was in high school.

Remember my first kiss? Well after I had graduated and left elementary school I never heard from, nor saw her again. Really sad, I know. However, three years after I graduated from elementary school, I randomly saw her in the estate I was living in. She was all grown up! With fuller breasts, bigger hips, taller, and she had a more refined and matured face. She actually recognized me as I was staring and we spoke at length and laughed while catching up on old times. Exchanged phone numbers there and then and I was so happy. Looks like I was gonna relive elementary school all over again! The only thing difference being the fact that she lived in the same estate as I did! So she wasn’t gonna be too far for me to reach. We texted at length in the night and decided to meet up at her place the next day. I mean, I was (and still am) friends with her brother! I’m pretty sure he’d have also been happy to see me.

The next day, I got to their place, and her brother welcomed me. It was a moment of great joy! Two stupid old friends, reunited! I got sidetracked by our reunion as we played numerous games of FIFA to prove who was the king of the game.

During one of the games, she walked in to ask her brothers for something, said hi to me, smiled and left for the kitchen. Now, she wasn’t dressed in anything flashy or flesh revealing, but when she walked in, her yoga pants portrayed her ass very well. #BootyHadMeLike

damnThankfully, her brother didn’t notice, and used the opportunity to capitalize on our game and scored against me. He beat me very well in that game, but I was no longer focusing on the game. My mind was on her and that ass. Her brother was focusing on playing against me again and beating me in the game. I just told him I was tired and would be going home soon, so he went to his room to call his brother, so he could drop me off at my place.

I used that opportunity to go downstairs to look for her and lo and behold, she was in the kitchen, frying plantain. For those of you who know me well, plantain is a total turn on for me. Just be a fine girl, know how to fry plantain, be humorous, and you’re my type. I don’t really have high standards.

Anyways, I spotted her frying plantain and I walked in the kitchen to talk to her. We started flirting a bit, and I decided to steal some of the plantain she was frying, and so I walked close to her, until I was standing right behind her. When she noticed my presence, she turned around, slightly shocked, and I used the moment to steal one plantain with my right hand, while pulling her into a hug with my left hand. She seemed to like this, and was about to gimme a kiss when the plantain started burning my hand

too hotShe laughed it off, and just when I was about to try to get her back into that hug and steal a kiss, her brother’s voice, shouting my name, stopped me. Apparently, he was looking for me. I then decided to walk away from her and answer her bro. As I was leaving, she started singing “My Boo” and I was like

excuse mestopped dead in my tracks and joined her in singing. We kept on singing; with me taking Usher’s part, and her taking Alicia Keys’ part. It was like reliving my first kiss all over again. After the song was finished, I started walking towards her when her brother showed up. Hopefully this explains what happened better to you.

my badShe saw him over my shoulder, watching us and used lip movement to warn me. I refused to heed warning. I walked closer to her again and she deliberately stepped on my toe but I just ignored the pain. Just as I was about to go for the kiss, he grabbed my shoulder and looked me in the eyes like “WTF are you doing?” Now take note that, although we were classmates, that stare of his made me fear him. I almost wanted to call him “Sir” while apologizing. After that day and up till date, I never got to visit her again in her home. The only times I was allowed to come to her place was whenever she wasn’t around :/

Anyways, that does it for today’s post! I hope you enjoyed it and it wasn’t too long for ya! If you enjoyed the post, remember to subscribe so you don’t miss out on other posts! Follow @TheOiz and have an awesome day!

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