Conspiracy Theories: The Powerpuff Girls


Heyyy guys! We’re back again to Useful Information About Nothing. This is the 70th blog post I’m making. 30 posts shy of a 100. Lucky number 7 with the big 0 beside it! 70 blog posts and y’all are still here. Even though I don’t know most of you, you’re all still here on this blog! And I’m glad! Maybe next time, I’ll find a way to connect with you guys more. Maybe have a Q & A or something. Not some ask.fm shit. Just pure questions/queries/issues you’re having and I’ll address them all as a blog post.

With today’s blog post, I intend to answer many questions about The Powerpuff Girls and Professor Utonium, and make you really understand why The Powerpuff Girls were created and all.

 

The Theory About The Powerpuff Girls

So today, I’m here to clear a variety of issues with regards to Professor Utonium and The Powerpuff Girls! So now, you’ll probably stop asking “Why did Professor Utonium create the powerpuff girls?” and know exactly why. So let’s start with the professor first!

 

Professor Utonium

 Professor UtoniumThe famous creator of The Powerpuff girls! He is the father of all of them, and hasn’t had much luck with girls. His first love, Sedusa, was a criminal. Miss Keane, his next love, had a cat and we all know the professor HATES cats. Now we know all this, but did you know that professor Utonium was really a sex hungry scientist who, on discovering that he couldn’t have sex with real, existing females, he decided to create his own females to have sex with? Now I know my theory sounds farfetched, but hear me out for a minute. Professor Utonium is a really smart man. So smart, he knew that he could create human beings. Even though the professor is a horrible cook, he knew that with just the right ingredients, he could make his dream a reality. Now the professor also knew that people would be really curious and freaked out if they discovered the professor created a normal woman to be living with him in his house, satisfying his sexual need at any time. He could probably hide his creation, but it’s not possible to hide something/someone forever. So to mask his true intentions, the professor got ingredients to make little girls instead of a woman and if anyone asked, he could say they were dropped at the front of his doorstep and he, being a caring and lonely man, decided to take them in.

As the professor was in his basement, putting his plan into action, he accidentally broke the Chemical X bottle..

professor Which made The Powerpuff Girls. However, pay attention to that smile of his when he was adding “Everything Nice” and after he saw the girls.

hmmm

Doesn’t that smile look a tad evil? Like someone with some dirty intentions? In his mind, he prolly was like “Y’ALLL GONNNN LEARNNN TODAYY!!” What has been seen cannot be unseen ^^

Since the girls had super powers, the professor couldn’t carry out his sexual wishes knowing fully well what they’d do to him and even if they did nothing to him, they might go and say what he does to them in school and he’d be exposed. So the professor’s sexual wishes were killed. However, he still lived for moments where he either gave them a shower or some the girls naked

 powerpuff girls

And y’all know that the professor is smoking weed in his pipe right? That’s how he manages to be the single father to three girls who have super powers. Just imagine when they grow up and start having periods and all! He’s gonna be on some STRONG stuff. He probably gets the weed from Popeye and his “Spinach”. Yeah right. Spinach my ass.

 

The PowerPuff Girls

Blossom, Bubbles & Buttercup! Three B’s. The product of Professor’s sexual intentions. Now The Powerpuff Girls are portrayed as super heroes who save Townsville and rescue citizens. That’s all nice and cool.

However, we do know that The Powerpuff Girls are still just “girls” and are easily swayed by the words of other people. And the people in Townsville, (the important ones anyways) are perverted. Remember the episode where The Powerpuff Girls had to fight against The Rowdy Ruff Boys but didn’t know how to go about it until Miss Bellum told them to kiss the boys? Iono about you, but that’s just the worst bit of perverted advice I’ve ever heard. Telling girls who are probably in elementary school to kiss boys who bully them. Miss Bellum probably told them to kiss the boys with hopes that the kissing would intensify and she’d probably get to watch child pornography in action.

Continuing with my point of Townsville being a perverted and bad place, remember the episode where The Powerpuff Girls had to fight against a toilet? And then Buttercup ended up having a “Potty Mouth” ? Just reminding you how bad Townsville is.

As a child you might not have thought it, but as an adult, you know that all The Powerpuff Girls are hoes. It’s just about knowing what type of hoe they are. So lemme give a brief summary about the hoe, based on their actions.

The Powerpuff Hoes 

Buttercup

Buttercup oh Buttercup! The only Powerpuff who likes acting like a boy, and hangs around with guys a lot more than her sisters, and likes imitating boys. In one episode, she refused to take a shower for a long time, trying to act like a dude. However, she was kinda happy kissing the Rowdy Ruff boys. So we can make two deductions about Buttercup. She’s either a Dirty hoe, or a lesbian who prefers to be the dominant one. From her experience with the potty mouth and with her boyish actions, I’m pretty sure she’ll end up as a lesbian who’d date weaker girls like Bubbles who she can boss around and dominate. That’s why she bullies Bubbles a lot. Because she’s sexually attracted to her kind. Not Bubbles, but females like Bubbles.

Bubbles

Ah Bubbles! The most gentle of all the Powerpuff girls. The one who’s scared of the dark but isn’t afraid to take pain. Bubbles acts really girly and loves her stuffed octopus. From this, I can make one simple strong deduction with a mini deduction on the side. Bubbles is probably the Submissive hoe. We can also deduce that Bubbles is a fan of BDSM with the way she kept telling Mojo Jojo to increase the electricity he was shocking her with when she fell into his trap. If you remember that episode clearly, she took all the pain while telling him to increase the volts until the machine exploded. We can see that she likes pain. So simply put, she’s a submissive hoe who’s a fan of BDSM, who’d probably date girls of Buttercup’s kind who’ll boss her around and dominate her. As a side deduction, Bubbles also speaks Japanese and she owns an octopus. You don’t have to be a genius to know that she’s probably involved in tentacle porn.

Blossom

The leader of the group. The smartest of the powerpuff girls. She’s also the most annoying one too in my opinion. Blossom always looks for an opportunity to prove that she’s smart and ALWAYS wants to take control of a situation. I’m having a hard time finding the perfect classification for Blossom, so we’ll call her the Lonely Hoe. In reality, Blossom cannot seem to keep her mouth shut, simply because she wants to show how smart she is. At the same time, she likes to take control of every situation. Being on top of things. Sadly, I know no man who’ll want a know-it-all female who wants to take charge, on top of his penis. So Blossom stays alone in silence, reading her books to compensate for the lack of action she’s getting due to her traits. Traits which are helping her other hoe sisters get laid. However, in her spare time, she sits around fantasizing about guys she likes while masturbating.

 

And with Today’s post, I hope I’ve been able to answer some of your puzzling questions on The Powerpuff Girls! If you enjoyed this, and other posts, feel free to click the subscribe button! Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!

33 Comments

Leave a Comment

  1. Umm thanks for ruining my childhood. Some of your ideas are way off in my opinion but others make sense. I think you’re over thinking the situation. It reminds me of the Rugrats and the Hey! Arnold theories.

  2. I’ve heard way better theories that make more sense than yours. Your the real pervert behind this theory. I mean seriously..the way you talk and explain yourself sounds gross and perverted.

    1. Wow! Given the nature of how serious this blog is, your comment definitely hits the right spot. I hope no one has to put a lamp over your head whenever you talk since you are so bright!

    1. WOW! How did you know I was 12? You are so smart! If this was Harry Potter, you’d be in Ravenclaw getting 50 points right now.
      Such smarts, much knowledge, much wow

  3. That is so horrible thanks for making my childhood bad this is not real your just a fake be nice and l love the powerpuff girls and you are going to get a punch in the face okay jerk person

  4. Lol the creators of the show did not develop the show this way. The guy is making a joke. If you think that ruined your childhood go and watch Bob sagget stand up. You will never see him ad danny tanner ever again

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