The Art of Bazooing

Well well well! We’re back here again for the 5th of #TheLast9Posts. Wow. Number 5 out of 9. We’re slowly coming to an end for this theme! Anyways, there’ll be more themes y’all can enjoy so enjoy this while you still can! However, I’m sorry today’s post might be a tad brief. Bear with me. So please sit back, relax, and enjoy the 5th of #TheLast9Posts!


The Life & Times of A High School Pervert: The Secret Art Of Bazooing

Ah yes! We’re back again to my high school AKA The Village! Before I even start telling you this story, the topic does sound pretty cool eyy? The Life & Times of a High School Pervert. Even the font looks too cool. If I ever write a book, I’m probably gonna use this as the title!

Anyways, I’m here to tell you about the secret art of Bazooing. You can tell the word does not exist. It’s pronounced as “Bay Zooing” or Base (with a z) for short. Now Bazooing referred to the art of spying on girls after all lights were scheduled to be out. It basically meant sneaking out of the hostel at night to sneak to the girls hostel and then peeking at them by their window sides. Reason why guys did this was obviously to catch a glimpse of a naked girl and also to listen to what girls say about some guys. I’m sorry I can’t provide lots of pictures! Don’t have pictures of my high school sadly. But this is what the girls hostel looked like sha,

sec schoolYup. My secondary school had struggle written all over it 

Anyways, as a junior, I always wanted to see what the fuss about bazooing was. I wasn’t really crazy about tits and hearing the gossip and shit. I just wanted to see why seniors would risk life and limb just to go to the girls hostel (which was really close to the boys hostel) to see girls (who they’ve probably smashed) naked and hear gossip that someone else could have easily told them. When I got to SS3/Grade 12, I finally felt like my time had come to find out what the hullabaloo about bazooing was.

Now, before I delve into this story, lemme tell you a mini story. Back when I was in JSS1/Grade 7, during one of my classes (I don’t want to mention the subject lest people start questioning the teacher) I cracked a joke about the teacher and the weird thing about the joke was, the teacher laughed at it. It wasn’t an offensive joke though. He just randomly drew a face with a big head and weird hair and teeth and all to which I said it looked like his wife. He laughed, and the whole class did too. While we were all still laughing, he asked me to come forward and hold a table while he brought out a cane to whip me.I was too busy laughing too hard to understand he was serious and so I held the table, and not until he gave me two hot strokes on my back, did I stop laughing. Apparently, what I thought was a real laugh was this

fake laugh

Slowly the laughs started to die down as this man continued to flog me on my back, stroke after stroke, till everyone in the class was pleading for him to stop and that it was just a joke. I cried that day though. Not from the pain of being beaten, but the fact that he laughed at my joke and flogged me after he was done laughing. I remembered this teacher. A lot.

Now back to bazooing. Being really honest, even though I was a pervert, I really just couldn’t see myself going to see some girls tits by spying through a window. There were too many complications innit. First, I was the head boy of my school. If I was caught bazooing, everyone (including ESPECIALLY my mum) would hear about it. Secondly, bazooing meant sneaking out of the hostel at night, to spy on the girls while trying to evade the night watchmen with their torchlights. If they caught you, you’d be in serious trouble. The only reason why I wanted to baze was simply for science. Pure curiosity. Besides, I’d been hearing really cool stories from boys about gists they’d been hearing from females, and the tits (and other things) they saw in the hostel and so I was just curious.

So on my first night of bazooing, I went out with a cloth to cover my head and body (from the mosquitoes) while only wearing boxers. I tagged along with a group of boys and I followed their lead. It was extremely scary for me since the moon was shining a whole lot and so the night was actually really bright. Either ways, there we were, looking like smooth criminals, walking on our tiptoes, carefully avoiding any obstacle that’d prevent us from getting to the girls hostel.


We got there safe and sound thank goodness. I then stood back and watched the pros as they got into positions to peek at the girls. Rather than raise their head up and down the window to get a good view, they peeped from the edges of the window. So I also got into position, and there I was, staring at a room filled with girls, all dressed up in their pajamas, just chilling and laying down on their bed, talking about homework and washing their clothes. I didn’t see what was so interesting about this, and I tagged along with another boy and we went to another window and that window was even more boring than the first window! I felt it was all gonna be the same until I got to the third window scarred me.

Peeking at the third window, the first thing I saw, just right there in front of me, were tits, bare and uncovered. I was like 


Its not like the tits were that huge, but I was still surprised I’d actually get to see tits on my first day. Apparently the girl was trying to spread her clothes on the window before going to bed. I was actually smiling until I heard her voice. When she spoke, I found out that I was looking at the tits of my school daughter in JSS2/Grade 8. I almost puked. I really did care for my school daughter, and saw her as a lil sister, so the thought of getting excited after seeing those tits got me sick to my stomach. After getting a hold of myself, I just left the boys and found my way back to the hostel, disgusted by what I had seen. The other boys came back and started telling the boys lies of what they had seen and even had the guts to mention the tits of my JSS2 school daughter, but they claimed it was the tits of a classmate of ours. I shook my head and took this incident as a sign never to bazoo again.

Weeks later, my best friend, who had never gone to baze, wanted to do so. After much cajoling, we agreed to go by ourselves and we went, and truth be told, there were boys already there, manning their stations, waiting patiently for one girl to reveal her tits.

Before I continue, I just want y’all to know that my best friend was (and probably still is) a pussy. He legit gets scared too easily.

Anyways, my friends inexperience led boys to a lot of trouble that night! Since he was still kinda new to this, when he peeped, his humongous head was too close to the window, and so one girl said out aloud “Someone is at the window” and with this, the inexperienced ones like myself and my bestie fled, while the other experienced ones just shifted from their positions. Anyways, our quick running and hard footsteps seemed to alert the night watchmen and they managed to catch some boys at the girls hostel and reported them to the hostel master. I was actually almost caught, but thankfully, the one that was chasing us didn’t have a torchlight, and by the time we got to the hostel and hid, he couldn’t find us. The ones who were caught were seriously thrashed though!

Subsequent times my friend and I went to the girls hostel, we didn’t go there to baze/listen to gossip. We’d just go to a window, tap on it, a girl would respond, and we’d ask for another girl to come to the front of the hostel gate, and we’d have a conversation. Most times, it was to beg for garri or food or money or anything! But this is what we did. The whole peeking life was just not for us.

HOWEVER, one day, when we (my bestie and I) went to the girls hostel at night, we met a figure there, already peeping. The problem was, this person didn’t look like a student or any of our classmates we knew. We managed to get a lil bit closer to him without him noticing us, and lo and behold…the person peeping there was the same teacher who flogged me when I was in Grade 7. I had the right mind to blackmail him then and there, but I let it slide. But I wasn’t just gonna let him have a good peek, so I cajoled my friend into hiding with me. So after we took a position in the bushes, with my deepest and gruffest (but not too loud) voice I said “HEY! WHO’S THAT?” and I watched him take off in fear. We laughed really hard and decided to just walk back to the hostel.

As we were leaving, our hostel master spotted us outside and asked why we were outside. Remember how I told you my friend was a pussy? Well, on spotting our hostel warden, the pussy in him started to come out. He jokingly (but with small seriousness) asked if we had gone to the girls hostel and my friend was already shaking. He reminded me of this guy

my friend

Either ways, Ithen lied that we wanted to drink water from the reservoir (yeah, it was a real village. You had to fetch water if you wanted to wash/bathe and drink too. There was pure water, but you had to buy it and since I was a cheap nigga, I drank reservoir water). The big hole in the lie was, there was no bucket with us! So when he pointed that out, I quickly interjected that we assumed that someone might want to take a midnight shower and so we came outside, but on meeting no one there, we started coming back to the hostel. He knew we were lying, but since he couldn’t find any incriminating evidence, he had to let us go

Well, that just does it for today’s post! Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!

4 thoughts on “The Art of Bazooing

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