Why I Don’t Have An Instagram

So this is just gonna be a quick rant yeah? So don’t mind me or my language. Don’t worry, this isn’t one of #TheLast9Posts. You’ll get another tomorrow.

Now the question most people seem to ask me when the topic is social media related is, “Do you have an Instagram?” and my reply is always “NO”. I have cogent reasons to explain why I’m not on Instagram though.


1.     Facial Handicap

Above all other reasons is this number one reason. I’m not gonna tell you this like I’m begging for your compliments. Neither am I telling you this because I have low self esteem and feel ugly.

Fuck That 

I’m not ugly. Far from it. In comparison with other male faces, I’m at a disadvantage. Look at it Economically. In comparison to me, a large percent of dudes have absolute advantage over me facially. I just have comparative advantage because what I do not make up with looks, I have humor and other things to help with. Besides, if I filled my instagram with pictures like this, who would follow me?


Won’t I be worried Joseph Kony might think I’m a good recruit?


2.    The Food

I honestly cannot count the number of times I’ve gone to a restaurant and spotted people taking pictures of their food immediately it is served to them. I thank God for my parents sha. Immediately the food lands, I dare you to take a picture of it. I just dare you. My mother is going to intervene. She won’t slap you, she’ll just pray until your food gets cold, specially taking her time to mention you in the prayer at any time she can (which is everytime).

It’s just annoying to me how Instagram has slowly turned into a food picture site. If I wanted to see a picture of food, I’d go to http://foodgawker.com/ or http://www.tastespotting.com/ or some site relevant to my taste. Why don’t you Instagram fans post your food pictures there? It’s more relevant. You people on instagram who take pictures of your food and post it there strike me as people who would be telling yo mama jokes to kids at an orphanage.


3.   The Lies & Deceit

I know I’m a sucker when it comes to lies. If you can talk to me with a super serious demeanor and tell me that the sun is pink, depending on how much you persist, I might actually start to believe you. I’m that gullible. I’ve slowly learned my lesson from my catfish story tho. After that catfish, I learned a lot of valuable life lessons.

But I’m curious. Why do you guys use so many filters on your photographs? Some of you now switch shades from one color of skin to the other. Which brings me to another mini rant. I really hate seeing #TeamLightSkin, #TeamBrownSkin,#TeamDarkSkin, #TeamWhateverSkinColorAsLongAsItsNotBlackSkin. Y’all should just join #TeamShutTheFuckUp. As far as I know, all of you who claim one of these teams are black. In so much as the person who had sex with your mum (or your mum herself) is black, you’re also black. It’s just annoying and sad how you black folks will now be saying that another black person is light skin simply because he/she is not as dark as you. Smh. This is just one of the reasons why white people always look at black people with curious eyes.

Asides that, the amount of deceit on that site is too much. People now feel like professional models and professional photographers and have slowly become avid users of photoshop all in the name of looking pretty/fine. It’s sickening.

I’m just going to drop this here and end my rant about the lies and deceit on Instagram

Instagram Lies 


Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!

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