My First Kiss


Alright Alright ALLRIGHTTTAA! As you can see, changes have been made around here! There’s a new theme in town and I thought it looked cool! I understand that lots of people are afraid of change, but I’m not! However, if you’re using your phone and you can’t see this, don’t bother. Soooo, let’s begin with today’s post! The 4th of #TheLast9Posts! It’s gonna be a bit long, so I’d advise you to have something you can munch on while reading!

 

My First Kiss

Ah, in all honesty, I really shouldn’t be telling this story. I mean I want to, but at the same time, the person who gave me my first kiss is still highly shielded by her family members (who know me well), but fuck it #YOLO.

So I got my first kiss from my mum. I should take off the title since it’s a tad misleading, but yeah, I got my first kiss from my mum. It was just a few minutes after I was born too. Nothing too special or affectionate. Just a light kiss on the head.

However, my first REAL kiss did not come until I was 10 years old and in Grade 5/Primary 5. It was a really random day to begin with, but I still cannot forget it because of that one kiss I received.

The morning started off normally with me getting ready for school and taking the school bus. I had a bad feeling about the day immediately I spotted my lesson teacher, I just knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. After boarding the bus, the first question that came out of my mouth was, “Why are you on the school bus?” I was just really curious, but, as expected, my curiosity landed me two solid knocks on the head, followed by a scolding. “So you cannot greet abi? The first thing that comes from your mouth is “Why are you on the bus?”. Nonsense.” Thankfully, the school bus hadn’t picked that many students yet, so I used the opportunity to go to the back of the bus and shed some tears while nursing my head.

School itself was just normal and drab. Nothing out of the ordinary. Classes were just boring. Even computer class where we played games was pretty boring too. Break time/Recess came along and I decided to go and play soccer with a couple of my friends. I hadn’t even played for more than 10 minutes before I cut my sandals. I think out of everything, this saddened me the most, cus that meant I was gonna go from this

sandals 

To rubber sandals

rubber sandals 

To add insult to injury, I sprained my thigh without even noticing. It was until I started walking back to class with my damaged sandals, I began to feel the pain.

So there I was, in class, silent and patiently waiting for the day to end. You could imagine how beautiful the closing bell sounded to my ears. I rushed to the back of the bus, took the window seat, and relaxed my head. All I had to do was get home, explain to my mum I had spoiled my sandals, get yelled at and then go to bed sad. I mentally consoled myself that it could have been worse. My friends got on the bus later, and no matter how hard they tried, I just couldn’t find anything funny. Matters worsened when we got stuck in traffic, and everybody seemed to fall asleep. Everyone except me that is. My friend beside me started resting his head on me like I was his pillow, and so I gently laid his head elsewhere, picked another window seat (which was about two seats in front of the back of the bus) and just chilled there, looking out the window, stuck in traffic, wondering if my mother was gonna do more than just yell at me.

As I was lost in my thoughts, a distant, clear, but gentle voice said “Hi!” I turned my head and saw my close friend’s younger sister, seating beside me. I had never really talked to her before. Just acknowledged her as family to my close friend but nothing more. Anyways, I responded back with a “Hi” and we began talking and talking. Somehow, she made me loosen up, and for the first time in the whole day, she made me smile. “I should be talking to this girl more often” I said to myself.

Our light hearted conversation steered in another direction when the bus hit a pothole and she was suddenly in my arms (on my chest to be exact) and closer to me than any female had been in my entire life. Instead of her to get off my chest quickly though, she started staring at me and giggled slowly before finally moving backwards. It was then, I began to realize how beautiful she looked, with her well shaped face, beautiful eyes (and now that I think about it) developing titties! They weren’t big, but for her age, they were acceptable. God I sound like a pedophile now.

Before I go on any further, I’m just going to give you a heads up that the next paragraph is going to be extremely gay. It’s just the preamble to the kiss. So it’s not that important. The paragraph after it is what’s important.

Anyways, she put her hand on mine, questions that started as “What’s your favorite color?” turned into statements like “I like you. A lot. You remind me of Usher.” And since I was highly inexperienced with this, I told her I liked her a lot too…and that she reminded me of Alicia Keys. I don’t know how this came about, but all of a sudden, we started singing “My Boo”, silently and gently. I sang Usher’s part, and she sang Alicia Keys’ part. We were young and that was how we knew how to express our feelings to one another.

In all my years of being in Nigeria, I’ve always hated potholes, but on this fortunate day, I loved potholes! In a quick summary, this is how my first kiss happened

Awkward kiss 

Being serious, that’s actually how it happened. The bus hit a pothole again and I suddenly found her closer to me again, only this time, when she looked at me, she didn’t go back to her position. She stared and I stared back. This staring contest went on until she moved first and kissed me. The feel of her lips was soft. Really soft, not too moist, and not too dry. She had the perfect lips, and THAT to me, still remains my best kiss. We broke off, stared, and did it again and with every new kiss, I got happier and happier. We stopped when more people seemed to be waking up though.

I got home feeling so happy, I didn’t even realize I wasn’t wearing any footwear. Didn’t even realize my mum was scolding me for not wearing shoes. Didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I was smiling while she was shouting at me. However, I DID realize when she slapped the happiness out of me and brought me back to reality. Anyways, after a few tears and an apology from her, I told her about my day and this happened

massage 

She helped me massage my leg. If you thought otherwise, you’re disgusting.

Hope you enjoyed the 4th of #TheLast9Posts! Sorry if it was too long sha!! Follow @TheOiz and have an awesome day!!!

9 Comments

Leave a Comment

  1. This is one funny piece i must say, though you really did deserve that slap that jolted you back to reality…lol

  2. Actually one of the coolest bogs I’ve been 2 in a while and the most coolest piece I’ve read in a while too. The language is simple nd underdtanding yet captivating. I couldn’t take my eyes off till I was down to the last full stop.

  3. I agree with @Mz Martina me too, Oize had a great childhood experience from what i read, hilarious enough of you to ask your lesson teacher why he was on the school bus lool….

  4. You are sooo funny!
    First kiss in primary 5 tho…una spoil quick o.
    Singing ‘My boo’ nevertheless. Seems like something out of that macaulay culkin movie ‘My Girl’. Lmao again.

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