Heyy guys! How are you doing? Hope you’re all doing well! Cus I certainly ain’t doing too well. Lemme just give you the lowdown of what happened today while I was taking the bus before we delve into today’s story.
So I went to see The Conjuring yesterday and it wasn’t even scary at all. I was disappointed tbh. But the thing that tripped me out the most was the bus ride to go and see the movie. After getting seated on the bus, a certain young but bald dude walked in the bus. After him, a homeless old dude in a wheelchair came got on the bus. I didn’t really care about them anyways. I was just blasting my music with my headphones when all of a sudden, the old dude in his wheelchair, rolled forward to the young dude, and they were saying stuff to each other that I couldn’t hear because there was music in my ears. I could tell this was gonna be a Worldstar Hip Hop moment when the old homeless dude stood up from his wheelchair (Looks like he was cured of whatever caused him to be on that chair) and started talking (and I could see spit come out from his mouth. Ew) in front of the young dude’s face. I was just there like
The young dude shoved the old guy to the edge of the bus while screaming “Fuck outta here”. Then the old dude came back as though he wanted to fight this young guy and next thing we knew, this young guy punched the old dude once and he started bleeding. The young guy then got off the bus while the old dude got on his wheelchair and seemed to want to pursue the young dude. I was still busy watching and smiling when all of a sudden, a super foul odor hit my nose. Apparently, the old dude took a fucking shit after being hit and there was a drop of shit on the floor of the bus. Never in my life have I ever been so disgusted. Like EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Had to get off the bus and used another one to get to the cinema and I still had goosebumps all over my body till the movie started.
Anyways, that’s not today’s story. If you’re a firm follower of this blog, you’ll notice that things never seem to really end well for me. Well, today’s story is one of em stories where things actually worked in my favor! Before I dive into today’s story though, I intend to give y’all the best stories and blog posts I can since I sorta like this month. So if you see #TheLast9Posts, I’m not quitting my blog, it’s just a special which goes on for 9 days. Maybe next month, I’ll have something else! So please sit back and enjoy!
My Lesson Teacher And I
I’m pretty sure as a kid growing up in Nigeria, at some point in your life, you had to deal with having a lesson teacher who usually ended up being some evil man/woman who never seemed to see any good in you. Well my lesson teacher was just like that but he was young, SUPER evil, and he LOVED to flog students a lot.
So, back in elementary/primary school, my parents thought it’d be a good idea to get me a lesson teacher who would tutor me in Maths and English. Let’s call the lesson teacher Mr K. Now in school, Mr K was notorious for flogging students mercilessly and when I heard he was gonna be my lesson teacher, I already started apologizing to my parents for all the wrongs I had done and I remember earnestly begging them to pick another lesson teacher since Mr K was evil, but they just ignored me and Mr K became my lesson teacher.
I hated everything about Mr K giving me lessons. The fact that during our lesson meetings, no one was ever at home when he’d teach me really bothered me. No one was home because my parents were at work, while my brother’s were in boarding school. The second thing I hated about Mr K was that he was always quick to hit me. This is how our lectures were anytime I missed a question he tossed at me
Anyways, one day, Mr K gave me homework to do at the end of our lectures. However, my brothers had come back from boarding school and so we ended up playing around till I forgot to do my homework. The next day, I got back from school and when I opened my lesson note, it dawned on me that I had homework I hadn’t done yet. I tried to rush it, but then Mr K was walking into our compound, so I ran with my books upstairs and started begging my brothers to please lie on my behalf that I was sick. I told them that he’d beat me but they all shrugged it off like I didn’t know what I was saying. After all my pleas falling on deaf ears, I went to see Mr K and he knew something was up by the way I was answering him nervously. He then asked me if I’d done the homework and I replied no. Before I could even finish blinking, he gave me two hard knocks on the head. Toh Toh! I could’ve sworn my brain caved in when he did that. He then proceeded to open his bag where he kept his canes and this is how I was, huddled up in a corner, pleading for mercy
Mr K didn’t care. He flogged me till I lost the ability to feel my left buttock.
I was upset with everyone. My brothers for not believing me. My parents for even paying Mr K. And Mr K for flogging me like I was some animal. I swore to have my revenge. The question was, HOW? For the rest of the school day, I spent my time thinking of what to do and when it got home, it just clicked. Now, my daily routine consisted of me taking the school bus to school, it’d bring me back home and I’d let myself into the front door of the house to find my lunch and Mr K’s lunch prepared and covered for us by my mum who made them before heading out. Thankfully, Mr K didn’t use the school bus, so he never got home the same time with me. Today, mum made pounded yam with Okro soup. For those of you who don’t know what Okro soup looks like, here it is. It’s kinda sticky and it draws with every scoop of it you take
Immediately I saw Mr K’s Okro soup, I decided to give his soup some extra “Draw” in it. Yup! You guessed it. I took in as much mucus and every disgusting element I could find in my nose, and I spat it into his soup. Then I used my hand to mix his concoction and covered his food back so he wouldn’t notice anything. Mr K came for lectures and gobbled everything down while I was smiling all day long.
Soooo there ya have it! It might not have been the best revenge, but I was barely 10. It was the greatest thing I could do without getting my ass whooped! Hope you enjoyed the 1st of #TheLast9Posts! Follow @TheOiz and have an awesome day!