The Day I Tried To Run Away From Home


Heyyyy guys! How ya dewwin? Hope all’s well? I’m pretty sure your life right now should be better than mine. At least, you don’t have boxers getting stuck to your hairless ass till it grows back.

Anyways, for today, I want to tell y’all about something that happened to me when I was much younger! It’s not that funny. Most of the things on here aren’t……Well, I take that back. Everything’s funny. It’s just not funny cus it’s happening to me and not someone else.

I’m pretty sure, as a child, most of us have gotten sooooooo frustrated with our parents that at one point, we just believed the answer to our problems would be to run away, like they do in the movies. Well, this is my story of me running away from home…Almost running away anyways.

 

My Childhood Stories: How I Sorta Almost Maybe Tried To Run Away From Home

Sooo, yeah! I’m back again to tell you a brief story of how I sorta almost maybe tried to run away from home. I have no idea what made me think about this, but I was a kid with little or no sense then, so give me a break.

It all started one chill holiday morning. My grandma was going back to the village, so we all had to wake up early so we could pray, and then drive her off to the bus station for her to catch a bus back home. Now, I didn’t want to be woken up as I was seriously tired from the previous night’s activities. My mum knocked on the door and told me to come down from prayers. I answered her and said I’d be downstairs in a minute. However, I fell back to sleep as soon as she left and went downstairs. Minutes later, she sent the maid to come wake me up and I gave the same response, saying I’d be downstairs in a minute, then going back for “5 extra seconds” of sleep. As time went on, mum came by herself to personally pull my ears till I was up and out of bed and downstairs with her. Even though I was at fault, for some reason, my little mind didn’t like the idea that she’d done this to me and I felt like she had bullied me. I was really upset with her and during prayer, I squeezed my face throughout, and when she asked me something, (even though it was unintentional) a hiss sound came out of my lips. She looked stunned, and if I hadn’t blurted out “Sorry!! That was saliva in my mouth” she would have removed all my teeth with a single slap of hers. That hand of hers that’s been pounding yam since 1961. It’s no joke fam.

After avoiding that near death experience, mum decided that we start off the day early, and she assigned me this huge portion to sweep. I still dunno if she was doing that in retaliation to my hiss, or just because she felt like. Either ways, I felt bullied again, and I got more upset. My mood was to be worsened when she called me in the kitchen. She did one thing I really really hate. You know how mum’s would be like “Haay! Come and wash the dishes.” And while you’re tending to the dishes, she comes in 2 minutes later, screaming at you for not sweeping the dining table. I was like

Are you for real now? 

I’m barely done doing the dishes and you’re complaining about me not sweeping the floor.

Anyways, I was totally fed up, and thankfully, mum went out and immediately she left, I decided to start packing some of my things into a bag. LOL, I was mentally challenged back then. After debating with myself, I finally picked my school bag, putting two of my favorite jeans, some boxers and shirts inside my best bag, I set out to start leaving the place. However, as I was walking out, it dawned on me, that I had no food supplies. I then took the frozen egusi in the fridge and dumped it in my bag, took some fruits and then packed rice for myself in a bowl and put it inside my bag. Now the food issue had been solved, the final question which kept me sitting at home, was… Where the heck would I go? I considered going to live with my neighbor, but then, I remembered her mum was friends with my mum so she’ll immediately turn me in. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go to, but I made up my mind that I was tired and I wasn’t going to put up with my mum anymore.

I had made my mind up. I was gonna run away from home. As I was leaving, I forgot the major element in every film where the kid runs away from home. I hadn’t written the letter to tell them I was running away, so I proceeded to write a short letter saying I was running away from home and placed it on the kitchen door. Once I was finished with this, as I started to leave for the gate, this happened

rejected 

Yup. Mum had come back from where she went to.

Even though it was stupid of me, I was still determined to leave the house, so I decided to open the gate for her, and then leave immediately after. Mum saw me with my heavy bag and asked where I was going with my bag and I told her I was going to run away from home. This is what happened

ready 

She told me she was giving me two minutes to go and drop my bags and come downstairs to pound yam with her since that’s what my dad wanted for dinner. I was still trying to form gangster and I stood my ground for like a second or two, but once she started counting for me, I didn’t need to be told what was to be done next.

My mum still laughs at me about that incident and tells her friends about it too. Anyways sha, hope y’all enjoyed today’s post! Please subscribe to the blog if you like it and follow @TheOiz and have a nice day

12 Comments

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  1. I used to think about running away all the time! Lol, I shouldn’t be reading this in class ’cause I’m laughing so hard I’m attracting stares! Lol!

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