Africa vs The Left Hand


Heyy guys! I’m pretty sure I’ve offended you by not blogging for a long time…But it’s okay. I’ve offended a lot of people these past few weeks, so if you’ve been offended that I haven’t blogged in a long time…

go fuck yourself

:’) Trademark Oise, to abuse you when you clearly did nothing. Such is life my dear! Anyways, I’m back again to talk about this topic that has been bugging me since I was very small till date. It has remained a mystery for ages now and I’m just here to lay out my problems with people against it.

Africans Vs Left Hand

bad time  

Trust me, it’s gonna be really rough and annoying for you if you’re born left-handed in an African country. It really annoys me how they make life so difficult for people who are left-handed as they face sooo many trials and tribulations. The major issues you tend to face are as follows

1.     You Can’t Receive/Give Anything Cus It’s Disrespectful: Of all the issues left-handed people face in Africa, this one pisses me off the most. How does it show disrespect when someone hands you something with his left hand or vice versa? Did the hand insult you? Did it refuse to greet you Good morning/afternoon/evening? Did it downgrade you in one way or another? Most likely not. Yet, this is seen as the best way to disrespect your elder….Giving him something with your left hand and their reasons for believing this aren’t far-fetched  However, just because the reasons aren’t far-fetcheddoesn’t make them stupid. So, the assumption is that the left hand is used for menial/dirty jobs, dirty deeds, and anything that isn’t “Clean”. I don’t see how this is true cus I’d rather use my stronger hand when I’m done taking a shit, or if I wanted to masturbate, I’d rather use my best hand (right), than my weaker hand (left), so how are you so sure you’re shaking the “clean” hand?

I remember when I was younger and my mum handed me a tray with glasses to use and serve my uncles and some other guest. As you could have guessed it, that uncle I sooo hate. That uncle who gave me my greatest ass whooping was there. Anyways, I had a tray with glasses and drinks on it and he requested I gave him a glass (as opposed to him removing it from the tray). Now, me being rational, I knew I couldn’t balance the tray on my left hand very well, so I proceeded to shift the tray to my right hand, and offered him the glass with my left hand. What followed next, was a moment to remember for life (and it still infuriates me till date).

Once I offered him the glass with my left hand, he immediately hissed out loud and called me disrespectful and shouted at me, asking me if I was his mate because I gave him the glass with my left hand. His shout shocked me and the tray mistakenly slipped from my hand and the glasses broke. I set to work, cleaning up the mess I made while my uncle kept heaving his insults and once my mum came and spotted the whole scenario, and my uncle gave a detailed version of what “REALLY” happened, mum made me clean up and told me to wait in the bedroom for her. And you know, once you’re called to the bedroom, what follows next is

relax your hand 

2.     You Can’t Eat In Peace: I still don’t understand how this is supposed to be a problem/taboo. I mean, now you’re not making contact with the person’s left hand, so why should this disturb you? I really feel this is one of the reasons why Africans aren’t prospering like they should. Cus they can’t mind their own damn business. The reason for this still remains that the left hand is usually associated with dirty functions while the right hand with clean ones…. And (I might be wrong o!) I heard that in Islam, it is said that Satan eats with his left hand, that’s why Muslims don’t eat with their left hand (again, I said I might be wrong so don’t devour me).

Still, let’s imagine Satan does eat with his left hand, does that mean that eating with your left hand makes you Satan-like? Cus if that’s so, I’ve never heard anyone call me God like/applaud me as a Christian for eating with my right hand.

left hand 

And even though this isn’t totally related to the topic, why in heaven is it that when you’re right handed and you’re using a fork and knife, your fork is supposed to be on your left hand while your knife is on your right hand? Isn’t it meant to be the other way round? Cus I can’t see why the knife, which isn’t used to scoop the food in my mouth, is on my stronger hand, while the fork is on my weaker one.

Asides that, imagine being in a restaurant and sitting next to a right handed person while eating.. This is usually the case.

 food

 

3.     School Is A Nightmare: Even though it didn’t happen in most schools, in some schools, you had to face problems with the chairs

desks 

Or the books

books  

4.     The World Hates You: Tbh, I feel really bad for left handed people. All video game consoles are usually made for the right handed people as all the action controls are on the right side, while the left side is usually for directing your game character.

game controllers 

Anyways, there you have it! Sorry I’ve taken so long in terms of blogging! Just been overly lazy and kinda busy with school! Just subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss out on any post I make since I might no longer be making posts daily till school is over. Have a nice day and follow @TheOiz!

2 Comments

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  1. Thanks for writing this! I never knew that was such a big deal to our African elders. I’m Congolese and have never known this all my life until my dad’s friend was giving me a gift and I was attempting to receive with my left hand. Smh, dumb just dumb. Lol. But awesome blog!

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