My African Childhood Tales

Hiya Guys! How are ya? Hope you’re doing well! Guess what day it is? GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?


Although I really don’t care about Geico, that’s just my favorite commercial at the moment. It’s Hump Day! The middle of the whole week! Meaning a few more days/hours/minutes/seconds to the weekend!

Anyways, before I begin today’s post, I just want to let something off my chest. I know I’m really horrible when it comes to notifying you that a blog post has been made, and I apologize for that. BUT! There’s a middle ground now! I included the “Subscribe” button there for you guys to subscribe so you never miss out on any post I make, so please, utilize the button well so you’re always up to date with the blog posts I make. You’ll need it soon since school would be resuming next week Monday, and I can’t guarantee daily posts, but I guarantee blog posts every week! So subscribe so you’re always up to date on the blog that gives you useful information about nothing that can ever benefit you in this life!

My Childhood Stories: The Night Before Christmas

Alright, now that’s off my chest, I’m going to tell you another cool and brief story about my awesome childhood that I’ve heard so much, it’s as though I remember how it happened, even though I was really too young to remember. However, the best part about this story is, I wasn’t the unfortunate one ^__^. Again, I reiterate that I was still that young, fat, less than 2 years old crawling baby when this story happened so I couldn’t be blamed for anything that happened!

It was the night of Christmas Eve when this occurred. Since it was Christmas season, which only meant one thing…. We’re all going to the village! Being really honest, as a kid, even till I was like 10, I really didn’t like going to the village. It meant leaving the urban city life and going to a rural side for a while, making me leave some of the gadgets we had in the city. It also meant the whole family (both nuclear and extended) was coming, meaning I’d have to meet some of my cousins who annoy me.

Anyways, that’s another topic. So, on this Christmas Eve, my dad was going to work the night shift, and wouldn’t be back home till very early in the morning. For this major reason, my grandmother suggested that we prepare our Christmas food on Christmas Eve so we don’t disturb my dad with cooking noises when he comes home and tries to sleep on Christmas day. So the whole day, everybody was busy preparing food while I was busy doing normal baby stuff; eating sand, shitting on myself, crying for no reason, the usual. By the time everyone was done, there was a great deal of food around the house, ranging from fried and jollof rice, to pots of chicken! It was going to be a classical African Christmas.

Now, I don’t know what exactly caused what I’m about to explain next, but for some reason… All the kids in the house seemed to very hungry. Maybe dinner just wasn’t enough. Or maybe all the children in the house had longthroat and just wanted to eat that Christmas food…but even after begging and pleading with their parents to let them eat, all the parents denied every kid from eating the Christmas food till Christmas day! I really couldn’t see why they were complaining. I was satisfied with my breast milk. Why couldn’t they be satisfied with whatever they had for dinner?

Anyways, all the kids in the house thought they were smart, and so they all stayed awake till 12AM, then they went to cajole my eldest brother (who’s the oldest kid in the whole nuclear and extended family) to let them eat some of the Christmas food since it’s already Christmas day.


Remember this pic? With me showing my sly smile while compressing the car with my weight? Anyways, at the extreme right, that’s my eldest bro, the oldest kid at the time. Somehow, maybe it was the hunger, or the constant pleas of the younger kids, or (using the most popular Nigerian excuse) it was the devil that moved him to do it, my brother agreed to it and everyone (including me. Since he was carrying me around) somehow sneaked past the adults, got to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and started catering to the needs of the younger kids by making them get plates while he was serving them. So, all the children were silently wolfing down their meals until my mum and her sister came into the kitchen. Everyone froze, while my aunt’s scream of “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” echoed round the house and brought the other adults to the kitchen. In normal African fashion, after some high pitched shouts and explanations were proffered, all the brooms, belts, slippers, spatulas, canes, and every painful instrument was brought forth as everyone got a beautiful and merciless ass whooping which only stopped because my dad had come back from work. The beating everyone seemed to receive (except me.. Cus I was a baby ^_^) was really intense, as you can still see some scars on some of my cousins, while some other cousins of mine claimed they weren’t able to sit down for a while as their asses had been mutilated that night. Needless to say, everyone still had to prepare food again on Christmas Day and it was still a fun Christmas, but everyone learned their lesson!


Well, I hope you enjoyed this Childhood Tale! Follow @TheOiz and have an awesome day!

One thought on “My African Childhood Tales

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