How I Got Catfished


 Over 9000

Yeah, you can tell I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time, but yeah. I’m absolutely glad my blog has reached over 9k views. And with every happy moment I have, there’s always a subsequent special blog post about something unrelated to the topics in the past week. But before I go on, thanks once again to all of you who like viewing my blog from places I didn’t even know existed, to places I’ve always wanted to be in. So all of y’all reading the blog in Naija, Spain, Ireland, Dominica, UK!!!! 


Today’s story is gonna be about how I got catfished. The only difference with my catfish was, the person actually existed! Just an overly photoshopped version of the person was what I was mentally prepared to see. For those of you who don’t know what it means, Catfish (and not in fish terms) is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not, using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. Manti Te’o is a great example of someone who got catfished. And even after dissing him, saying he was stupid for getting catfished like that, and me saying such a thing cannot happen to me…… It happened to me.

My Catfish Story/How I Got Catfished

Well, if you were on the twitterverse the day I told this story, you’d have gotten a brief summary, which highlighted the key aspects of the story. This is the in depth version of the story with more details and more pictures!! (Except no picture of the person who cat fished me)

So, back to the times when I was really flirty and spent almost half of my day online, there was this chic I found on Twitter who, on spotting her avatar, I knew I just had to follow her. It took a while to get her attention! It started with some LOL’s on some of her tweets! A few mentions here and there. Then finally, a DM! Oh that dm. Back when I thought it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because when this chic and I started talking in DM’s, she seemed to be really into me. She even gave me her phone number and we started texting and here I was, applauding myself for making lots of progress in the shortest amount of time. Little did I know what I was in for…. Thing about her was, she was really just too fine! Not too many filters on her picture (or so it seemed), nice body and a very cute face! She complained about having no friends as people said she was “Fat” and ugly. Normal “fishing for compliments line” for females, but I played my part well and told her they were all blind and she wasn’t fat and blah blah blah. Then we kept on talking about our likes and dislikes, flirting with every possible opportunity we had. She was my type in every way! And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I discovered that she lived not too far away from me… Now, we all have different definitions of “Not Too Far”, but lemme explain this one. If someone drove me to her place, it’d take about 1 hour. If you remove 20 minutes from that time, that’s how long it takes to drive from my place to Downtown LA so I wasn’t really bothered about having to spend an extra 20 minutes on the road. I wasn’t going to turn down such an opportunity to miss this chic, and she was eager to see me too! So we scheduled a day and I got ready to go.

Now, the only little “Problem” with me going to see this girl was transportation. Remember how I told you she’s “Not too far” from my place by car? Yeah, you see, the way my bank account is set up… I’m too broke to own a car. And on the day we had scheduled to meet, all my friends were either too busy or unavailable to take me to her place. So that left me with just one last option; The Bus. I wasn’t too freaked out about using the bus since it’s what I use to commute on a daily basis, but I’d never taken a bus THAT far. I mean, she lived all the way in Santa Clarita and I lived in Northridge. Just in case you don’t know, that’s a 3 hour trip!


I remember debating on whether seeing this girl was worth it, but I shook such thoughts away from my head. It was too late to turn back now. So I got my stuff ready, checked the bus routes, and started off on my 3 hour journey. It wasn’t all that bad, since I had a book to keep me company. But the problem was, I’m a fast reader. I was done with the book in half the time I was meant to be on the road, and I dared not use my phone unless I’d drain the battery and wouldn’t be able to communicate with the girl/find my way back home. I couldn’t even sleep cus I was scared I’d miss my stop and go somewhere where I shouldn’t be. So for the remainder of the time, I was just there, staring at the pictures this girl had sent me on my phone, using them to calm me down and make me understand why I was making this trip in the first place.

she need to know
I finally arrived at Santa Clarita station and she called me and told me she’s sorry she couldn’t come to meet me there, cus her parents were holding her back, but now her parents have left the house and she’s home alone. I was mad at first, but the words “Home Alone” pacified me. So she sent me her coordinates and I went straight to the estate she lived in. On getting there, I felt sooo out of place. I felt very poor for the first time in my life. It was soooo high class, I thought I was dreaming. I really believed I had scored this time with this girl! I finally got inside the estate, got to her apartment and checked myself before knocking. Reapplied some cologne, chewed and swallowed some gum, before knocking on her door.
That was the worst decision I ever made in my life tbh. The first thing I noticed about her apartment, was how I couldn’t notice anything in the apartment! It was all dark as she had turned off the lights. The only reason I went inside, was cus she pulled me inside and spoke with me and I heard that voice! Her palms and my palms were sweaty, but she was pulling me quickly, until we finally got to a room. I could tell it was a room since I could make out the bed. She then opened the door, and pulled me inside with a little bit more force as if to fling me on the bed but in the process of doing so, one of my retainers fell off. I wasn’t ready to take any risks with it lest it breaks, so I searched for the light switch, turned it on, found my retainers, and turned back to the girl who was leading me all along.

I let out a little scream and was taken aback. Like one of those Nigerian movies where you see a ghost and you start screaming “Blood of Jesus”. That’s exactly how I was feeling there. It’s either the person who was leading me had vanished and I was looking at someone else, or the person in the picture and the real person I was seeing in person was all a lie! I was expecting to see some Beyonce figured girl with a cute and spotless Taylor Swift like white face. I was met with a slightly slimmer version of Adele whose dark face was having as much spots as a Leopard’s skin. I remember asking her if this was some sort of joke and the “real” girl I saw on Twitter was hiding somewhere else and the girl got offended by this and I didn’t seem to understand why. I mean, I was the one who was lied to, not her. Anyways, she said it was her and started hurling insults at me and told me to leave her house…. As if I had plans on staying any longer. No one had to tell me what to do, as I used my phone light to find my way out of there and took the bus back home.


Moral of the story? If something is feeling too good to be true, that’s because it probably isn’t true! And also, learn to Skype with some of these people you see on the internet! Just plain phone calls and pictures won’t do much! Make them skype with you before you get scarred for life! Hope you enjoyed the story! Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!!

8 thoughts on “How I Got Catfished

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