Hi Guys! Before I dive into today’s post, I’d like to take some time out to thank you for dedicating a part of your time to read information that benefits you in no way. This is my 38th post, and even when I go back and reread some of my former blog posts… Not once. NOT ONCE, have I found any reason why you should come here to read about my life tales or conspiracy theories or what not, however, you keep coming back. You’re like one of those clingy exes that won’t leave. Good thing about your clinginess is that I appreciate it and I don’t want you to leave. Since time is of the essence, let’s waste it together.
If you really took time to read that long boring speech, I’m pretty sure you’re new to this blog. Avid readers would skip down to where the real preamble to today’s post starts. Which is here. Anyways, since you’ve seen the topic of today’s post, you’re right to assume that it’s a cool story. So you know the drill, get your blankets, hot chocolate, or anything that’s gonna keep you warm…Cus I’m about to tell you a really cool story.
Another Cool Story
Well today, I’m going to tell you a short, but really annoying prank my aunt pulled on me a while back. Now my aunt is quite the trickster, and I didn’t know this firsthand, and so when I was told I was going to have to go and pick my aunt from the train station, I didn’t really think it was going to end the way it did.
Now, as a Nigerian, I have thousands of “Uncles” and “Aunts’. Basically, everyone who comes into your home more than once to see your mum or dad is your uncle. Tbh, I can’t even name all my REAL aunts and uncles correctly. I mean, I know some of them, but not all.
Anyways, back to the story. Apparently, this “Aunt” of mine I was meant to pick up, was supposedly a frequent visitor in our house back when I was little. I still remember my mum asking, “Don’t you remember Aunt Jemima? Tall, black, always carrying you and feeding you when you were a baby?” And I’m like, “Mom, are you forreal? For her to have been carrying me when I was a kid, that’s really a long time. I don’t remember that.” But then she always counters me by reminding me of how I still remember the time I almost lost a finger of mine in a bicycle as a baby (but that’s another story for another day.)
So after many debates and pictures and I still didn’t remember her face, my mum finally did me a favor. She told my aunt to wear a native dress she had to which my aunt agreed to. She even described what it’s going to look like, how it’s going to be, and the color. I was happy she did this. I mean, it wouldn’t be THAT hard to spot a Nigerian wearing her cultural dress. I mean, how hard can it be to spot someone wearing this top?
So the D day comes and my mum wants to show me a picture of my aunt, but I don’t really bother to look at it cus I figured that she’d be the only person wearing such a dress, so she won’t be too hard to find. I got to the train station just a few minutes later than when her train was scheduled to arrive due to traffic and cus I was hungry (but I wouldn’t tell her that). On getting to the train station, I waited, and waited and waited and waited for passengers to highlight the train, but I didn’t spot anyone coming off it. On the contrary, people were boarding the train. I checked to make sure I was looking at the right train, and when this was confirmed, I waited a little longer, yet no Nigerian in a traditional dress with a red bow on top of her head was spotted. I was beginning to get worried that she didn’t wear the dress she agreed to wear, but for safety reasons, I went ahead and asked the train operator on board if he had seen any person wearing a native dress with a red bow on top of her head. The train operator declined, but when I went to meet the person in charge of collecting tickets and asked him the same question, he actually said he had seen a middle aged woman wearing what I described and that he had talked to her at length and blah blah blah other stuff. Didn’t care to hear the rest. All I wanted to know was where she was. He told me he spotted her going outside to wait for her nephew. I then reprimanded myself for coming late and went outside the station to look for her.
I searched and searched for her, and almost gave up the search when I spotted her sitting down with her bags beside her, drinking starbucks coffee (or whatever was in the cup). I then went up to her and told her I’d been looking for her. The stare she gave me was as though she’d never seen me in her life. I shrugged it off and told her that we should start leaving now and I started to carry her bags but she immediately jumped and snatched her bag back from me. I was really perplexed and apologized. Maybe she didn’t like people touching her stuff. But I still wanted her to come home so I could leave, but she kept on looking at me funny and didn’t wanna go anywhere. As this kept going on, there was a woman wearing a t-shirt and jeans who seemed to be getting on my last nerves as she was laughing at me while I was arguing with my aunt to come with me. I was on the verge of walking away when that woman who was laughing at me tapped me from behind and called my name. I greeted her, but her face didn’t seem to ring bells in my head….. That was, until she told me she was Aunt Jemima and that she wanted to use the bathroom when she spotted a beggar who complimented her dress.. So, being the kind person she is (And these were her intentions all along. TO prank me) she gave the beggar her top and the bow and asked that she (the beggar) watch her stuff for her while she goes to use the bathroom.
For a few minutes there, I was waiting for Aston Kutcher to come and run out with cameras screaming “You just got Punk’d.” I was still standing there while my aunt laughed and apologized to the beggar for the hassles and gave her some money. She then tapped me so we could start going. I was so madd, but she calmed me down when she got me some food sha!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of my cool story for today. Hope you enjoyed it! Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!