Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! We’re back again on Useful Information About Nothing! Its been a while hasn’t it? I hope you’ve been good tho? Not falling sick and shit like me? I mean.. I’m not sick. My nose has just been having an emotional breakdown and its been crying since. I refuse to believe I have a cold. This black skin of mine has retained enough heat to boil water so I disagree with the people telling me I have a cold/the flu.
Anyways! I feel as though we need to return back to the things that made this blog popular in the first place. And not the sexual sides.. Another sexual post shall resume later. Today, I’m gonna be telling a cool story! Yay! Ikr! I’m so excited! I know you are too. And today’s own is gonna be brief, so don’t think you’ll be here for too long.
This story is pretty old tbh, but I really just need to tell it. It was after this story I started believing in the law of Karma. Do not mess around with Karma. You will be screwed. Now for the story!
Sooooooo, apparently, there’s this girl in my school who I really liked. Like this babe was super fine, didn’t really have assets, but who cares? What are assets without a fine face to advertise them? To me, they’re absolutely nothing. Weirdly, most guys in my class didn’t seem to reason on the same line with me. I didn’t see one, not ONE guy approach this girl and start a flirtatious kinda conversation. After noticing this trend, I finally believed opportunity had opened a door for me, and immediately, I began plotting tactics to slowly market myself and find out what this girl’s selling point was. For those of you who need help getting a girl in class, bring out your notepad and pens and start taking notes.
How To Get That Chic In Class
1. First thing on my list of things to do, was to befriend all her seatmates, and introduce them to my friends. This tactic is necessary because when her seatmates meet your seatmates/friends, it becomes easier for you to ask them to swap seats with you, dropping you closer to your target. And that’s exactly what happened with me. Two weeks after friends meeting friends, I swapped seats with one of her seatmates and started seating close to her. Progress 15%
2. The next major thing to do was to do some research on her. People might call this stalking. I call it Extensive Research. ER is necessary so that you know what she kinda likes and dislikes, if she’s chatty or not, etc. After doing this for about a week, mini conversations started going on between this girl and I. Progress 40%
3. Since I didn’t want to be an acquaintance, the next thing to do was get her number. Now, the normal thing to do is just chat her up well enough to ask for her number.. But I’m not normal. Besides, I needed a fool proof plan that won’t involve me getting rejected in between. Then I had a brainstorm and sadly (for her but thankfully for me) she wasn’t doing well in class. I immediately suggested we start a study group. Since I suggested it, I’ll have to pick a location nice for people and blah blah. Long story short, with this suggestion and everyone’s (including her) approval, I got her digits on my phone under the pretence of study group. Don’t get me wrong, we studied. But not all of us studied our books 😉 Progress75%
Everything seemed to be going really well at this point. I was sitting next to her, I knew what she liked and hated, I had her phone number and we talked almost everyday, all looked swell! Little did I know that she was preparing a mansion for me in her friendzone. After doing all the prerequisites to get this babe, I had to go for the crucial and last step. Expressing my feelings to her. Letting her know how I felt about her and hoping and praying she felt the same way too. So during one of our random conversations on Facebook, I quickly told her I liked her and she smiled and said she felt the same way too! I was already like
Then all of a sudden, this fairy tale turns sour as she says the thing almost all guys don’t wanna hear. She said “As a friend of course. That’s what you meant right?” I wanted to believe she didn’t make this statement. I was literally like this when she said that
but I quickly got myself and told her I meant more than a friend. Then she told me that she’s sorry, but she just doesn’t see me as more than a friend. The whole moment goes awkward and she starts apologizing and I smile and wave it off like nothing really happened. That it didn’t hurt. Meanwhile, in reality, I was feeling so dejected and bad and shit. Then to make matters worse, she believed I was really fine and told me about a guy she liked in another class of hers and how she’s been flirting with him and how she intends to make him pop the question by putting words into his mouth. I’m basically just Ok’ing all what she said while nursing my broken heart. After she hung up, pain turned to anger. After all I’d done. Weeks and weeks of hard work, all for nothing?
I went to bed depressed that night and I was moping for a while even though I’d (fake) laugh with her and listen to her moments with this guy. This random guy who messed up my chances with her. I hated him tbh…. At least, I did, until that legendary night. So this babe calls me one night, kinda crying and all. I immediately asked what was wrong and she told me that she kinda tried to force the guy into popping the question and he rejected her! I was shocked, but happy all of a sudden (but I couldn’t show it on the phone). Then I asked her “HOW!?” and then she explained to me that she asked him when she was flirting with him if he considered her gf material to which he replied positive. Then she asked him if he thought she was beautiful and he also replied positive. Then, she asked him if he’d date her! That she’d love it if he sang her answer to him (the dude can sing. No jokes). Apparently, he told her he wasn’t in the singing mode and that she should listen to The One That Got Away – Katy Perry. And that she should listen to the chorus of the song.. Then he hung up. When I heard this, I hung up on her in tears…… Tears of absolute joy and I burst out laughing like a retard when I heard the first three words of the chorus of the song..
“In another life, I would be your girl……”
“In Another Life”
Damn. Even I haven’t been rejected this hard. I died laughing, but then I had to call her cus I could imagine how she must’ve felt when he let her down. She probably went like this
Anyways, that’s it for my story tho! In summary, watch your back! And do unto others as you want them to do unto you! Karma is a boomerang! Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day!!