My Socially Awkward Life


Hey!! Its been what? Like ages since I ever made a post which is either sexist, sexual, or just too cool and I can understand the fact that you’ve missed the blogs and I’m sorry for delaying. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up. Blog posts this week from now till whenever you get tired of learning useful information about nothing.

Unlike my usual cool story, or sexual story, today, I’m just gonna tell you about a dislike of mine which everyone seems to like nowadays and it really REALLY confuses me why they like it so much. I mean as kids, I know lots of people didn’t really like it, but now everyone is older, it seems everyone likes it? No, I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about taking drinks that have alcohol. I’m seriously confused as to why something most of us didn’t like from childhood changed to something almost everyone loves nowadays. Its like nowadays, if you don’t drink, you’re just awkward. I’ve heard people call me a weirdo just cause I don’t drink and I find that really funny. So I’m weird because I don’t drink? Tell me more about this your normal life. 😐

I know I know, I’m socially awkward because I don’t drink. Fuck me right? But nahhh. I just don’t like it. For one thing, I’m not even going to go scientifical and start talking about the medical bad sides of taking too much alcohol. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I will, however, give you my three major reasons why I just don’t like alcohol with the first and major reason has to be that I have a sweet tooth. Alcohol does not taste like Fanta, neither does it taste like 7up, or Sprite, or Coke, so why should I give a damn? According to what I’ve heard, alcohol is bitter and Bitter, isn’t a word that goes down well with a person who has a sweet tooth. Its like saying “I can’t” to an optimist, or “I can” to a pessimist, or “Fairies exist” to a realist. Its not just right. So why should I have a sweet tooth and taking something bitter? Don’t think so.

As loud mouthed, crazy and psycho as I may seem, I’m really self conscious in public, especially when I’m amidst strangers. I’d rather act very composed and act normal than have strangers looking at me and judging me mentally or even vocally (the outspoken ones). Usually, the smell of the alcohol consumed doesn’t go down well with me at all. I can’t imagine talking to a friend of mine while my breath smells. I know how uncomfortable I’d be if someone with a booming breath came and started talking to me so I’d rather not make a place inconvenient for another person by forcing them to inhale the last beer/drink I just had.

Another major reason why my self consciousness won’t let me drink is cause of control. I like being in full control of anything that involves myself. I wouldn’t just willingly do something without knowing what effect it’ll have on me. So I can’t imagine drinking, getting wasted, and then waking up in a ditch or somewhere far from where I’d normally want to be. I have a friend who went to a bar, took a few shots, continued partying and having a good time, flirted with someone and to cut the long story short, he woke up with a man naked in bed with him…. And he’s a homophobe. Although the incident made him get hospitalized due to loads of vomiting, shock, anus expansion and other medical jargons, he’s stopped drinking! I don’t think I want to wake up with my anus expanded before I know that I shouldn’t be drinking.

The thing that pisses me off the most are those who drink because they see others drinking and so they think its “Cool” to fit in and drink in. I believe that people who just do anything to fit with the crowd are the weakest types of humans ever. So because your friends are drinking you want to do the same thing they’re doing so you can fit in and be one of the guys? Pathetic. The last party I ever went for, more than half of the people were holding either Baileys or Vodka, getting wasted and high while I was the only one there, gently sipping my viju milk and grinding with another girl.

Just because you don’t drink doesn’t mean you ain’t cool, neither does it mean you’re better than the humans who do drink. It just mean you made a choice. And that choice, is for you to ruminate on. But if you drink just to feel cool and socially accepted, you’re a full blown retard in my opinion.
Sha sha sha, I know, I know, its not funny, its not witty or anything, but it is my blog. I didn’t force you to come here, you did ( ._.) So don’t blame me for not making you laugh! Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day! There’s a pic of young, socially awkward me below

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