The Sexual Side of Life IV

Heyyy! How far? How are you doing this awesome day? I know I know. You’re upset that I haven’t done a blog post since so I’m in no position to ask you how far or how you’re doing at any point in time and I wholly accept this! I’m sorry 😦 Please do not mind the retarded font I’m using atm. My laptop is acting up and my options here are limited so please, bear with me 😦

Let’s get straight to business today shall we! So it’s been a while since we last did a sexual side, but today, I shall give y’all the pleasure of having another sexual side today since I’m sure you all now possess sexy imaginations (or as the society says it, “Perverts”). Don’t mind them! They dunno what they’re missing 😉

Kit Kat: Today, you can see there’s a picture to back up our first chocolate on the list. That special chocolate we call, Kit Kat. With its perfect blend of Cream, Milk and Cocoa, it’s no wonder people love it so much! Now as you can see from the photograph above, it’s evident that Kit Kat can used to give lessons on how to give someone head. From the pic below, its evident that she’s an expert as she does it with no hands and sucks on the goodness of the chocolate till it melts in her mouth. This is exactly what the chocolate was made for. Sexual pleasure. Its just that you haven’t noticed it yet. From the structure of a Kit Kat, so straight, so firm, so erect! You can tell that it was made to please. Usually, you use your hand to support yourself while you bask in the glory of this chocolate as you gently lick on it till it melts and drops its inner goodness in you. Experts (like the girl below) do it with no hands 😀

Toblerone: This, by far is my favorite chocolate of all time! Lemme quickly brief you about Toblerone. Toblerone started back in 1908. A time when your grandparents were still considering if they should produce your parents or not! I’m of the belief that part of the reasons why the world war started was because Britain refused to share a bit of its share of Toblerone because this chocolate was initially made for royalties only.

Toblerones by shape are triangular/prism like. And do you know what else looks triangular/prism like? A penis! Oh please, don’t act like you don’t know that some penises are shaped like arrows in nature with their pointy looks. Those kinds are the ones which are akin to Toblerone. Toblerone is usually firm and hard, and ready to be devoured! Many people can’t deny that it is one of the most delicious things to put into the mouth.

Even by the flavors, you shall know that it was made to be a perverted chocolate. I know four different flavors of Toblerone which include “Plain” (for those of you who like things natural), “White” (Racists.) “Fruits and Nuts” (Key word. Nuts 😉 ) and “Honey Comb” (Mhmmmm, Honey! Don’t even tell me Honey isn’t sexual! The sweet taste, the way its sticky…)

 Water: I’m pretty sure you’d start complaining that water isn’t food and blah blah I don’t care. I said the sexual side of life, not food! So yes, back to the topic. Water! One of the most wanted things on earth. One thing which we all need and use. And. One of the most sexual things on the planet. Its just that you haven’t taken time to notice how sexual it is.

First off, let’s start with the basics. Water is a liquid and it helps to quench your “Thirst”. You usually don’t mind if the water lands in your mouth, on your chest, or cleavage, or even if it lands on your face. You just want it on you. Badly! Especially in moments of real thirst! You forsake everything else and plunge the water deep into you just to satisfy yourself. Notice how water and sperm are so akin to each other. They both quench your thirst, and in situations of real thirst, you really don’t mind where it lands as long as some of it is IN you 😉 Stay thirsty my friends 😀

Again, we’ve come to the end of today’s lecture! I’m sure you’ll now enjoy your Kit Kat’s, Toblerone’s and even water whenever you “Ingest” them! Keep Calm and Satisfy Yourself!
Follow @TheOiz and have a nice day sha! Next post should be tomorrow!


5 thoughts on “The Sexual Side of Life IV

  1. The post made you cum? You’re even worse than i thought… smh. But OIse, you know if you don’t stop this, there won’t be any more food I can eat without snickering…

  2. Kit kats are my favorite kinds of sweets and now everything I eat one, I’m going to be thinking about how sexual it is. Thanks x.x

  3. u are on a mission to ruin every possible meal anyone could eat abi….but the way u write is just too funny for me to care LMAO, nice one bruv!

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