Battle of The Sexes II


Eyyyyyyyyyyss!!! What’s up? Whatssup? Wuzzup? Wussup? Sup? Xup? As you can see, English keeps getting more and more retarded by the minute but that, is for another post entirely ^_^ How are you doing tho? Had breakfast/lunch/dinner? Was it good? Or are you as lazy as me? Just chilling till Mum makes food? *sigh. I miss those days. Now I have to cook for myself and honestly, I’m worried I’ll poison myself. That’s how skillful a cook I am 😐

Anyways, aside from my cool life, I’m back on the topic of the sexes. I’ll still focus on the females because y’all deserve all the attention, love, wash, dry, and rinse in this world. Sadly, I shall not wash you today. I’ll state facts about y’all. I know I won’t get laid either, but I have mangoes and donuts. I don’t need you 😛

Time: This shouldn’t even be an argument. Women love to take their time. In EVERYTHING. Jesus. This is why you rarely orgasm. I’m being honest. Even if the sex isn’t that good, the man will still get there, but for women, you must take your time! One slip up and everything is ruined and you have to start again. Sex is one area where you take time. Another annoying area is getting ready. Women can take their time! Jeez.. Don’t even give me the excuse of your hair and all. If its your hair that’s delaying you, please do an Amber Rose 😐

It gets really annoying tho. I went to visit a friend (she has put me deep in her friendzone btw so.. yh) so we could go and see a movie together and then she told me she was going to take a shower and she’ll be out in “5 minutes”. That was the longest 5 minutes of my life. Even those last 5 minutes at the end of every boring class in school wasn’t as long as those five minutes. I had to go and knock on her bathroom door (again, the depth of the friendzone made this possible) and tell her we’d miss the movie at this rate. She then apologized and after another “5 minutes”, she came out of the shower and I think she went to her room to dress up and all. Or so I thought. Babe started blow drying her hair! I could tell we weren’t gonna make the movie anymore so I just waited to let her take her time and get ready. After drying her hair, and painting her nails, she came downstairs thinking she was going to the cinemas. Lool, after taking an hour and a half to get ready you now want to watch the movie? I’m sure if we left the house by that time, we’d hopefully be able to meet the credits. You know the worst part about it? She now said it was my fault -_________________________________-

The logic of a woman ……………

Mood Swings: Now I know some girls are already prepared to finish me because “I don’t have a vagina therefore I cannot understand why females have mood swings.” That is true. That is also good. But, that is not an excuse to be a killer and super annoyed at the simplest of things. The way some of you females switch moods is astounding.
Gf: Heyyyyy booo! How are you?

Bf: I’m good boo.
Gf: How was your day?

Bf: *after three minutes* Oh it was nice boo!

Gf: After threee minutes? Fuck you 😐

Now I’m not saying ALL girls do this, but I’m sure this is a familiar scenario and it gets even worse when you’re on your period as you lash out on the slightest things. The worst part is, most of us guys don’t know you’re on, so we’d keep on cracking normal jokes thinking all is well…… Until the mood swings start kicking in. Do you know how hard it is for us guys to comprehend the situation and think of what to say to respond to you when you’re on?

I even want to understand you females a bit. What causes you to be so highly irritated when you’re on? Is it because blood is coming out of your vagina? Or because you have tummy aches or back pain? I’m really confused because all that doesn’t really seem like an excuse to me. Back ache? Get a massage (if you can’t afford the fancy one, tell someone to step on your back) Stomach ache? The toilet never complains when you release your bombs into it.

Don’t use period p to be vexing with your man like he stole your last bit of food yo! The only time you deserve to be upset is if you have a boil near ur anus. That can be excruciatingly painful. So I heard

Requests: Time and time again, I’m forced to know that one cannot simply understand a woman. In terms of requests, they prove this to be too true! What’s so hard in asking for what you want from your bf or any other person? I know this isn’t something all females do, but most do this, and the ones who do it are so annoying. What do you want? A car? Simple.

Honey, can you get me a car? No? Ok.”

But noooo. Most females think its more preferable to drop hints instead of being direct. Sometimes, the hints aren’t even accurate

Honey, you know that thing that your dad owns but your mum likes? That thing that your dad gives your mum occasionally? That thing that is big and black and makes your mum so happy? That sometimes she asks for permission, and other times she just takes it on her on to use for her pleasure? :O No I don’t want your penis! Whateverrr. You never understand me” -_________________- Ask directly and you shall be given what you want!

Then there’s the other form of requests where we (guys) know something is wrong with you and we ask you what’s wrong but you say nothing YET you keep squeezing your faces like you have diarrhea. If nothing is wrong, why is your face so strong? I don’t get it. Do you expect think us to always know something is wrong with you when you don’t tell us yet you keep squeezing ur face?
Other times you’ll come to us with your problems and as you’re sharing the problem, halfway you say “Nevermind”. Anytime I see that word, I get pissed the hell off. Why would you arouse my suspicions then tell me Nevermind halfway through? Women -_____-

Anyways, I decided to keep it brief today because the fact that I’ll lose all my female friends is now paining me. I wonder what happens if I post about males and their issues. Will I get all of you back? 😀

Follow @TheOiz and have a nice dayy!

3 Comments

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  1. 😐 Okay so the issue of periods and mood swings, dont even go there cos you dont know how it feels nd its not the type of stomach aches that u “release your bombs into” the toilet for soooooo..lol nd omg i totally love your blogs!! My favourite line is “Why would you arouse my suspicions then tell me Nevermind halfway through?” lol cos of the “aroused” x___x

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