Hellooo!!! How are you doing today? How was your day? Was it good? If it wasn’t good, or even if it was good, I’m here to make it better and give you a new way of looking at your food. If this is your first time reading my blog, you should probably stop eating now till you’re done reading the post so you can fully appreciate the sexual instrument you have been eating that you call food.
Today, I’m here to open your eyes to something almost everyone, especially the ladies, love. Since I’m dealing with foods, you should know I’m not talking about shoes, handbags, or actors with 6 packs. I’m talking about CHOCOLATE 😀 There are thousands of different brands of chocolates round the world like Toblerone, Mars, Twix, Maltesers, etc. For now, I’m just going to focus on the most popular ones I can think of.
Mars/TwixBounty: Most of my female friends all love Mars, Bounty and Twix and its really simple to understand why most ladies derive so much joy on munching on either of these chocolates. The shape of a Mars/Twix bar gives it away as a sexual instrument. So firm. So erect. Yet, nice to hold. I can already imagine the perverted smiles on some females faces at the moment. But that’s just the beginning. For the next part, I’ll focus more on Bounty even though its also similar to the Mars and Twix bars. Bounty is normally brown outside and the exterior is just a carrier for the main thing. The inner, whitish, and I’m sure delicious inside that everyone desires to have more than the exterior. I’m sure you now know just how perverted you look when you take Bounty. The same goes for Mars and Twix. I like licking my Mars and Twix till I can reach the inner part which is sticky yet very delicious although I can’t seem to get every part of the sticky side inside my mouth as some of it ends on the side of my mouth 😦
I’m sure most ladies can now see Mars, Twix and Bounty in a new light ^.^
You’re welcome 😀
Eclairs: I’m totally sure I’m not the only one who has problems taking Eclairs without getting it all over me. I think Eclairs must have been made by someone who had problem controlling himself and must have been ready to blow at any moment; because that’s exactly how they are. The nice thing about Eclairs is that, you can have more than one in your mouth and you’re usually recommended to lick it till you’ve satisfied all requirements and look ready to take the main juices, and this is why whenever you take a slight nibble on it, it just shoots all the cream inside your mouth.
I think I’ve said enough. I know some minors are reading this blog so I don’t want to be arrested for selling pornography through these blog posts I’m writing 😦
Okra: A quick spelling lesson will teach you that even though its pronounced as “Aw kraw”, it’s spelled as Okra. Unless you’ve never been to a kitchen before, or you close your eyes everywhere you go, or you’ve never had the privilege of seeing it, or you’re just a bloody liar, you’ve probably come across Okra. I like Okra because its a male thing. I’m going to focus on the guys here as I comment on this.
Most of the times when I go to parties and see everybody dancing, I watch guys put their Okra on various girls’ graters. This is when the grinding begins as the female rubs her grater on the male’s Okra and if she’s really good, she’ll make him deposit all his juices and stickiness on her grater. Don’t worry if you can’t make him deposit his stickiness ladies, you’ll usually have more than one Okra on your grater in a party anyways 😉 So if you don’t succeed with one, try try and try again 😀
Anytime you’re in the kitchen and you’re sad that you’re not having fun, just pick up an Okra and a grater and let your imagination fly as you play your respective role as the Okra/Grater and see how long/fast you can make things sticky 😉
So I guess I should call it a day and spare you because your chocolate would have probably melted by now and your mum might be shouting at you for wasting time with her Okra (not your dad’s own or anyone else’s!) but I’m sure you’ll now look at everything in a different light and be so happy to ingest all the foods mentioned above!
Credit to Yasir ( @Looney_Y ) for giving me ideas on todays topic and thanks for all of you who have been reading this blog since! Follow @TheOiz and Happy Ramadan to all the Muslims!